


Who Are You, Really?

by Quite96Bitter



Category: Ed Edd n Eddy
Genre: Angst, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Multi, Self-Harm, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-05-12 23:54:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 32,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5686498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quite96Bitter/pseuds/Quite96Bitter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's senior year for most of the cul-de-sac kids, Eddward is finally returning to Peach Creek High School. He's been home schooling himself since the incident with the jocks at the end of ninth grade. A new and mysterious Double D is returning, calmer, tougher and exceptionally more attractive. This story portrays the change in Eddward's demeanor. Mainly R!EddxKev, KevEdd, some MariexEdd, EddXNat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It was just the beginning

**Summary** **:** It’s senior year for most of the cul-de-sac kids, Eddward is finally returning to Peach Creek High School. He’s been home schooling himself since the incident with the jocks at the end of ninth grade. A new and mysterious Double D is returning, calmer, tougher and exceptionally more attractive. This story portrays the change in Eddward’s demeanor.

 **Pairing:** This is mostly a KevxEdd pairing, regular Kevin and a somewhat Reverse Eddward. A side story of MariexEdd will be presented at some point. The brilliant Nat and Rave will make appearance, both belong to their respectful owners.

 **WARNNING:** This story contains harsh language, use of alcohol, drug use, violence, abuse, self-abuse, mental issues and sexual content. If any of these may be triggering for you, please, do not read.

 **Acknowledgment:** Ed, Edd and Eddy do not belong to me by any means. Rev!Edd belongs to Asphyxion. Nat belongs to C2ndy2c1d. Rave belongs to KiraKurry.

 **A/N:** Beware, this is my first creation and English is not my first language. Nonetheless I really do hope you will enjoy this story. Feel free to suggest any corrections, modifications, improvements and so on.

_ Enjoy. _

 

 

06:29:57,

06:29:58,

06:29:59,

06:30:00.

 

Whilst the annoying ring tone playing, Eddward stared at the screen of his charging device, contemplating whether to click the ‘Ok’ button, or the ‘Snooze’ one. Deciding that the best thing to do is actually getting up and getting ready for school, he pressed the ‘Ok’ button and set at the edge of the bed. Legs limp, toes barely touching the floor, he yawned and rubbed his eyes, soar and tinted of purplish grey all around, caused by the chronic lack of continuous sleep.

 

For the last few months, since the students returned to school from spring break, Eddward had fallen to this routine of sleepless nights and lonesome days. Spring break started per usual, Ed and Eddy spending the night, reading comics and watching movies. Towards the end of it, they barely even texted each other. Since the ninth grade had started, Ed, Edd and Eddy started to drift apart.

 

 Ed, the light headed of the three, was accepted to Peach Creek High School football team with ease, being the freakishly strong teen he was. Now, schedule filled with football and school band practices, life couldn’t be better for the lovable oaf. Between practices, schooling was ok, keeping his C average was a bit of a task, but with extra help classes and putting his mind in to it, it was possible.

 

Being 5’10” (1.78 m) at fifteen, Ed definitely stood out in the school crowd, wearing his too baggy of a clothes that had been passed down to him by his uncle, the unibrowed Ed-boy looked a bit intimidating. Being in the football team, he made new friends and old friends closer.

Now, by the end of the ninth grade, Ed became best friends with Rolf, the foreigner that moved to the cul-de-sac when they were kids, spending much time in his company at the farm his family owned, helping him for the most part, in order to play with their chickens when done.

 

Eddy, on the contrary, had decided that participating in any school activities, beyond those he was obliged to, was beneath him and will ruin his reputation and nonexistent popularity. At some point, his attendance at school became less and less frequent. Eventually, his appearance reduced to about five times a month.

 

The scams that consumed his existence as a child had subsided, and been replaced by attempts to sell random creations on the internet in order to get rich, and creating random videos. Ed was still a really close friend to him, spending almost all the free time Ed had, in between school activities and him helping Rolf, in Eddy’s basement playing video games or watching low budget horror movies.

 

 Looking pretty much exactly how he looked as a child, at fifteen years, still the shortest in the bunch of the cul-de-sac, wearing the same polo shirts and baggy jeans.

 

Edd, dived head first in to studying hard to achieve the best of grades, and to get accepted to the best of universities, preferably within a scholarship of the science departments. His week schedule consisted of school and learning activities and attending the house and himself, living basically all alone in that big house. Eddward’s weekends consisted of cleaning, preparing a week worth of food and occasionally a hang out with the two other Ed boys.

 

 At a certain point, Eddy even managed to convince Double D to throw a house party. To say that the aftermath of the party was a mess, will be an understatement, to say the least. After that incident, thing were never the same between the two. Eddward resented Eddy’s behavior that night to no end, getting high and allowing his city friends to trash Edd’s house, and then leaving the mess for Edd to clean afterwards.

 

In order to fit all of his studying within a tight time frame, he learned at the beginning of the previous school year how to skate, in order to arrive at school as soon as possible in the mornings. Eddward had taken it upon himself to be the librarian’s assistant, helping Mrs. Sharpener in the early mornings.

 

This was like any other morning, Eddward dragged himself out of bed to take a quick shower. When he came back to his room to clothe himself, looking at the clock, he noticed it’s already 06:41.

 

Before putting his phone away, he dragged a slim finger over the text notification from his mother, to read his chores of the day. When he was a kid, his parents used to leave him sticky notes on the fridge, explaining his daily/weekly schedule and the chores he must complete within a certain time frame. When they bought him his iPhone for his fourteen birthday, they started to text him instead. For about a year now, they rarely mentioned any chores to be done, just asked for his recent achievements at school, if he was eating properly, if the house is in good shape and whether he needs something. Having his unlimited credit card to purchase everything he needed, there was basically nothing left for him to ask.

 

Their visits to home became less frequent substantially, coming home in holidays when possible. His parents worked around the clock, staying in different parts of the world, making contacting them a though task to achieve, they mostly communicated by text messaging, sometimes not receiving a reply from them for days. All that and more caused Edd to develop a cynical point of view on life. Which he kept to himself, most of the time, he never was one for attention and conflict.

 

The text read:

_‘Dear son,_

_Your father and I are really pleased with you recent achievement,_

_Keep up the good work._

_We will see you at the beginning of summer, hopefully._

_Have a wonderful week.’_

 

Sighing and nodding his head ‘no’, he thought _‘hopefully’… I can assure you, dear parents, there is no hope left in me for you._ He put down the phone and walked to the closet.

 Hastily, he put on black wide shorts, securing them to his scrawny hips by a black belt. He covered his torso with a white quarter sleeve snug baseball shirt with dark purple sleeves. Putting on white ankle socks and lastly, the Sockhead put on his black beanie, tucking in all strands of hair.

 

Heading down stairs to eat cereal, Edd glanced at his biology project, a small open box containing a soft model of a working heart, pumping red fluid through clear rubbery tubes.

 

After eating, he put on his black Slip-On Vans and slung his messenger bag on his shoulder. Contemplating whether to walk or ride the skateboard, which will not be an easy task with his biology project, he thought, _it’s 07:05, taking the skateboard will mean I’ll arrive to school at 07:25, five minutes before I’m supposed to meet up with the librarian, allowing me to leave my project in my locker._ Deciding not to spend any more precious time, he determined that skating to school is the only choice not be late. He put on his helmet over his beanie and grabbed the skateboarded and his project.

 

Locking the door behind him, Edd lay down the board and got up on it. Balancing his biology model between both hands and his torso, he rode on his skateboard down the street to school.

 

About five minutes to the ride, he noticed he is fast approaching a few guys that’s looking like they are heading to football practice. He tried to slow down, yet he was too late. He collided with the dirty blond jock, sending the latter head first onto the pavement.

 

As rapidly as possible, Edd rose from the jock’s back, only to be pushed back onto the ground.

“What the fuck, dork?” the angry teen hollered at the stunned geek.

 

 Looking up, Edd moved his beanie out of his eyes to look at the jock. Immediately his blue eyes went wide, he froze in fright. The jock he collided with was no other than the bully that has been tormenting his life since the start of the year, Chad.

 

Chad was a wide, 5’8” (1.73 m) high sophomore. Ever since Edd can remember this year, Chad had hated him for no apparent reason, throwing him in to walls at school, the occasional punch in the gut, or if less lucky, in the face.

 

Edd was in no mood for a beating this morning, he slept only two hours the night prior, and the fact that it has been three months exactly since he last saw his parents, and about a month since they last talked.

 

 “Greetings, dear Chad” he spat. The jock became as quite as a fish.

 

 Realizing he’s still on the ground, he thought _filthy, filthy, filthy._ While getting up, his eyes started immediately looking for his project.

 

“Looking for this, Dipshit?” Edd had turned to face Chad, he was nowhere near being eye to eye with him, towering at 5’5” (1.65 m). Looking down to Chad’s hand, he realized he’s been holding the missing project.

 

Not looking up to his face, he said, “I will dearly appreciate if you’ll return me my biology project at once, for must I am not be tardy to assist Mrs. Sharpener, the librarian, with her duties this morning.” Trying to sound as polite as possible, thinking it may appeal to the jock.

 

“Hey Chad, you hear that? That’s the dork’s precious science project.” said the tallest jock with a sly grin.

 

“Oh, really.” Chad said with a smirk.

 

Opening the box, all four jocks glanced at the heart model, one of them saying “Is that a balloon brain or something?”, “That’s a heart, you moron” Chad answered.

 

Picking up the soft heart, Eddward’s eyes widened in horror, Chad is holding on his, indeed, precious model. It took Edd two and a half tedious weeks to complete the model entirely. “Can you… p-please, Chad, i-it’s due today, I worked really ha…”

 

Before Edd had a chance to finish the stuttered sentence, Chad had stretched his arm, holding the heart still, to Edd, squeezing it powerfully. The heart exploded all over Eddward’s white shirt, staining the fabric and the skin beneath it with a crimson shade. His facial expression changed to one of disbelief, wide eyes, and mouth hanging a bit. Everything went quiet. “Is the little dork gonna cry now?” an overweight jock said.

 

A minute had passed, the jocks still laughing, realization catching on with Edd, his expression changing to one of pure rage. Wide eyes changing in to slits, a few wrinkles becoming apparent on his forehead and nose, lips pursed to a sharp line. Edd’s heart, unlike the one that had been thrown limply on the pavement, was beating hard and fast with fury. Through gritting teeth, he said, quietly: “I loathe you”.

 

Jocks holding their bellies in laughter, didn’t hear the nerd not did they notice when he took a few steps back to his skateboard, picking it up, and with a ‘swoosh’ sound, smacking Chad’s face with it.

 

“Holy fuck”, “Jesus”, “Oh my god” and such could be heard. Everyone looked at the ground at Chad, lying there, blood pouring rapidly out of his nose and the side of his hanging mouth. Nose crooked to the left, right cheek all scratched from the rough board.

 

Sitting up, disoriented, Chad looked to his stunned friends, in moments he felt a sharp ache running through his face, a distinct warm feeling under his nose and a coppery taste filled his mouth. Raising his hand to his face, touching the slippery substance, what just happened hit him like a ton of bricks.

 

Bewildering, he said “You bashed my face with your skate.” Facial expression changing to a distinctly angry one, “I am going to fucking kill you”.

 

While the four jocks shifting their looks to the dork, he tried to run from them, unsuccessfully. Before he managed to make over eight steps, he’s been caught by his shirt by a jock. Quickly forced to spin and fall to the ground by the sheer force of the tug, almost ripping his shirt, his left side gets a pound meeting the ground.

 

 Hissing with the pain and closing his eyes shut, he right away felt a kick to his abdomen that sent him a few feet back. Clenching his gut with his arms, he felt a second kick to his lower back, followed by one to his chin.

 

After sometime, what may in reality be three minutes, but felt like hours, the kicking had subsided, _they must be done_ , Eddward thought to himself, only to open his watery eyes a bit to see a blurry image of Chad with his skateboard in hands. Horrified, Edd covered his head with one arm and his gut with the other one, lying in a fetus position on the pavement, he prepared for the worst.

 

With a loud ‘thud’, the skate hit his leg. All pain he felt thus far was nothing compared to this. A second stroke was felt, thrashing his ribs violently in to his chest cavity, his lungs losing all wind, a sharp pain was felt and he blacked out.


	2. Change of Scenery

**N/A:** I’m no doctor, nor do I understand medicine in the slightest. The medical profile stated below is a fragment of my imagination and a result of years watching Grey’s Anatomy.

_ Enjoy.  _

Edd could remember the loud ambulance sound. Opening his eyelids slightly, seeing a grayish ceiling, he heard a women say loudly “he’s fucking awake.” Another yell from a man, “Faster, we can’t lose him again.” Right about then, Edd passed out again.

…

With a horrible headache and a disturbed comprehension of his surrounding, Eddward tried to open his eyes, but to no avail. Thinking, _what is going on? Where am I? Am I dreaming? No, this pain is definitely real. Why can’t I move?  What is going on? I remember taking a shower, getting dressed, oh, I forgot to water Jim. I keep forgetting things, I recently fell to this inefficient daily routine. The project is due today. Oh goodness, Chad ruined it._ The reality of the events following said morning came crushing upon him in seconds.

“Honey, try not to stir too much, I’mma call the doc.” a nurse said.

After some effort, he managed to open his eyes. Looking around, Edd saw blurry black spots in his line of vision for a few moments. After adjusting to the bright day light, he made out he’s in a hospital room, alone. _The anesthesia is probably wearing off, I am starting to feel immense levels of discomfort._

“Good morning, Mr. Vincent, my name is Andrew White, I am your doctor.” said the tall man that entered the room. “You are in the hospital. You’ve been brought here by paramedics on Monday morning last week, today is Tuesday. You’ve been here for eight days. It appears you were a victim of a beating. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

_I’ve been here for the past eight days?_ Trying to open his mouth to speak, Edd managed to mumble a few incoherent sounds. “Please blink three times if you do”, said the physician. Edd blinked, confirming his understanding.

 The doctor took a few steps closer to the bed, saying “Good. After you’ve been brought here we have managed to stabilize you within a few hours. You’ve suffered a brain injury, no apparent damage was made to any of the crucial systems. You got your lung punctured by your rib, which we fixed in surgery. You have four broken ribs, one at your left, and the other three to your right. You suffered an open fracture in your right leg, which we managed to secure in a nailed brace. Your left leg also had a few fractures that had been casted. Additionally, you broke your right clavicle. Minor wounds and injuries had been treated. After two days of surgery, you’ve been put on a medical induced coma, until this Sunday. You are currently on a high dosage of analgesic to help subside the pain. It may take a while to regain all speaking and movement abilities. You are here to stay for the next two to three weeks, for now.”

Taking a deep breath, he continued with a slight frown “We were not able to contact your parents for the first five days, they are currently on their way here from France. Try to relax for the time being.”

Lying on his hospital bed, one stunned Edd tried to nod his head in understanding. The doctor spoke again, “The nurses will attend your needs, try to get some sleep.”

The second the doctor finished his last sentence, he turned around and left the room, leaving Edd to ponder about his current situation.

_Mother and father will be so displeased with me causing them to come back home from their precious business. All I had to do was not to cause any trouble, and I couldn’t manage even that. I am royally useless._

_Those jerks truly should have finish me off, instead of leaving me being this mess. I can’t even move, everything is so incredibly sore._

_How am I supposed to continue school? All my hard schooling, down the drain. Just fan-fucking-tastic._

_I am alone again._

_By the end of the day, I am always alone. So, so incredibly alone._

_I am going to die alone, with not a single person who cares._

_Now all this people will carry the burden of taking care of my broken body. What a cruel joke._

_I just want to be left alone and die._

Edd had drifted to sleep.

…

The next three days passed excruciatingly slow. Being all alone in that cold room made Eddward’s depressing thoughts to drift to a suicidal place at times.

He managed, through much pain, to move his sore arms, filled with aching bruises and lacerations. One of the nurses had given him a few books to read, in order to pass the time.

Friday morning, while suffering from the indigestion ache of being reintroduced to solid food, his parents came through the door. “Oh darling!” his mother screeched. Green eyes watering with tears, his usually composed mother looked dangerously worried, almost crushing his chest and head with a tight hug. Her waist length, golden, silky hair brushing Eddward’s face lightly, annoyed, he blows air through his mouth to avoid inhaling her hair.

Leaning back a bit, she asks “How are you feeling, honey?”

With disgust in his eyes, he glares at the pair. _It took you eleven days to come see your only son in the hospital._ “I am in a fucking terrific condition. Can you not see, mother?” he said with a sarcastic tone.

His father, quiet thus far, says to him with a calm demeanor, “Watch your language, son.”

“Whatever” the smart boy mumbled under his breath.

The afternoon passed quite uneventfully, explaining his parents that he is at fault to what happened to him was a bit of a challenge, however, eventually he managed to. His parents had left him yet again all alone to run some errands.

For the next week his mother and father set by his side, bringing him tasty food and study materials, in order for him to finish the school year requirements.

As the following week passed, they let him know they will have to return to their business soon and will most probably hire a nurse to help him out and preferably leave him to live in the hospital for the time being. Considering his left leg cast to be removed in about three and a half weeks, it will be more rational to be in the hospital for the physical therapy afterwards.

…

At the end of Edd’s fifth week at the hospital, his parents had left and Ed and Eddy came to visit him. _Some friends,_ he thought, _probably knowing exactly what I have been through, and not even be bothered to pick up the phone to ask for my wellbeing. I truly felt like we were brothers, obviously my feelings were one sided entirely._

“Hey Sockhead, how you doing?” entered Eddy, Ed following close behind. “We heard what happened a few weeks back from those assholes… been kinda busy thought, with the finales and such. Had no idea your fragile self been this wrecked, though.” He chuckled.

With an irate look, Eddward said “Thank you for coming, you may leave now.”

“But, Double D!” Ed whined, “Our summer vacation is so boring without you, you can’t kick us out! I missed you as if you were gravy-” he practically yelled “-I love gravy.”

Calming his demeanor, looking at the pair Edd said “Look, Ed, Eddy, I appreciate you coming all the way here to check for my being, but I can honestly assure you, your company is futile to me. You are most welcomed to leave at once. Have a nice day, eventful vacation and a good life, goodbye”.

Aggravated, Eddy spat “Whatever.” and left the room.

“No, wait, Eddy! Don’t leave” Ed said a bit too loudly, and ran after the short one.

 “I told you we shouldn’t have come to visit him, he doesn’t need us” Edd heard Eddy say in the distance.

Another few sounds could be heard from the pair, nothing coherent for Edd to understand, though.

They never came back to visit him again.

…

 


	3. Ann Kanker

_ Enjoy.  _

Lying in bed, watching the Discovery channel, there was a knock on the hospital room door. _Must be the nurse they hired_. "Come in", he said to the person standing on the backside of the door.

Stepping inside the room, smiling, the woman said “Good morning Eddward, my name is Ann Kanker, your parents hired me to assist you in your daily activities." said the petite women, now sitting down on the armchair by the side of the bed.

Ann was really small in size, nothing like the much higher Lee, or even May. She had shoulder length straight blonde hair and hazel eyes. She was attractive, no denying, even beneath the pink nurse scrubs.

"Oh, hello." Edd said hesitantly, _Ann Kanker, as in the Kanker sisters?_ "Hey, are you by any chance related to Lee, Marie and May?" He said with a masked expression.

 Smiling, Ann said, "But of course, honey. They are my daughters. Are you friends with them?” she said with a hopeful smile, “I know you went to the same junior high and I believe you are the same age as my middle one, Marie.”

 _Fantastic_ , he thought. "I do know them, Marie and I share a few advanced classes at school. However, we are not close friends" Edd said with hope to drop the subject, but to no avail.

 "Oh, of course. You are as smart as my Marie, she is a gifted child, you know.” She nodded, “I should bring her sometime here, you could hang out, watch a movie perhaps. Your parents told me you might be quite lonely here." the woman said with gusto.

 "I never knew she was gifted, we don't really interact anymore as we used to as kids" Which was true, it's been years since any of the Ed boys talked to the Kanker sisters. In their younger years, the sisters used to be obsessed with the boys, forcing them to hang out with them, kiss them even. Never had Edd guessed one of them to actually be smart. Yes, the blue haired girl shared his advanced placement classes, yet he always thought she used some smart kid’s abilities to achieve her position there. 

The day had passed pretty uneventfully, Ann had brought some board games with her to pass the time, and they played for a few hours. At noon, the nurse had Edd eat some healthy food she made the previous night, chicken enchiladas and a few salads. Apparently, the Vincent couple decided to hire Ann as a personal cook as well, claiming the hospital food is tasteless and unhealthy. Eddward enjoyed the home cooked meal dearly. Living in the hospital for the past six weeks, he got used to the monotonous food too quickly. When he mentioned it to his parents at arrival, they started to buy outside food from the food court at the adjacent mall. He truly did miss the taste of home cooking. 

At eight o'clock, the nurse left, promising to bring him some books and movies.

…

The next day, Ann came at ten ante meridiem sharp, bringing with her a diverse breakfast. The delicious smell drew Eddward’s attention immediately. “What is that amazing smell?” He said with a grin plastered on his face.

“Good morning, dear. I made you my special breakfast.” She said with a soft smile.

“Thank you, I really appreciate it, it’s been a long time since I ate something that remotely smells that appetizing.” Edd said genuinely.

“Just wait ‘till you try some, I hope you’ll enjoy yourself. And maybe later we can go out to the park, I saw yesterday your wheelchair has an inch of dust covering it.” Ann said while removing Edd’s laptop from his lap, and setting the pull out bed table.

The small table was filled with all sorts of appetizing food, ranging from bacon, eggs and pancakes to healthier choices like Greek yogurt with assortments of fruit. In addition, a small box that was placed at the corner of the table contained a few cupcakes, all different looking.

 “Holy cow, you really shouldn’t have!” Edd said with a gaping mouth.

“Nonsense. You deserve this, being here for so long in this room by yourself-” She nodded her head ‘no’, continuing with a frown to her lips “I might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I am no fool. You may think you fooled everyone around you that you are fine, but I know this sucks. It truly does.”

“It really is fine, I’m fine…” He said looking anywhere but at her. “I don’t want to bother you more than what is necessary.” He looked at her briefly, with a tiny sad smile tugging at the corner of his mouth “I am the one responsible for me being here, I deserve the mess I have got myself into.” He said with a chuckle, in order to drop said topic lightheartedly, he straight up hated speaking of himself and problems he might have. Eddward always felt like people compel themselves to appear as if they take the slightest interest in him in order to appear somewhat courteous, but as soon as they get a chance, they turn to other topics or people, leaving him with this sad feeling tugging at his chest and wondering how he could even imagine someone caring enough.

With a look of disbelief to her, she clarified “You do not deserve all of this, you do not deserve being a kid alone in the hospital, in pain, not able to move around or speak with anyone. I know you’ve been snapping at the hospital crew for weeks now.”

Taking a step closer she added, “Everything will be alright, okay?” She said petting his head.

Looking up, Edd blinked his pale blue eyes at her. _Have I been that obvious? Of course I’m not fine, this really does suck. I hate being here, I hate my stupid so called friends who call once a week at most, I hate my nonfunctional parents, I hate being a skinny nerd, I hate being bullied every day for merely being me and I hate being nice and polite all the time. I hate this so much._

“Okay?” she repeated.

 “Okay” he answered with glistening eyes and his mouth a bit quivering. For a moment, he put all his insecurities off to the side, taking all of her words in. Edd really needed this, he haven’t really spoke to a soul who might show even a tinge of caring towards him for a long time.

She hugged him. Letting him go she said “Now eat and let’s go out to breath some much needed fresh air.”

At noon, after about fifty minutes of strolling in hospital halls and the park across the street, Ann decided they are going to take the car and drive to the beach boardwalk. After an hour and a half of that, they set at a sushi place and ate lunch.

…

By the seventh week, spending his days with Ann became a second nature. Edd appreciated her company dearly, even though her company was payed for, he truly felt like she cared for him in a personal level, which was a nice change.

On Thursday of said week, at noon, came a group of three nurses and a doctor to the room, taking Edd to an examination room.

After basically being probed by the doctor and his crew, they removed his cast and reassured him that the other leg's brace will be removed within the next couple of weeks.

Feeling his leg "breath" for the first time in months felt exhilarating. Feeling the refreshing hospital air conditioner breeze against his thin leg caused him to have the most violent case of goose bumps. 

Returning to the room, Eddward went on and on to Ann about how he is going to get physical therapy soon and get strong and be able the walk and jump and even run or swim in no time.

He never was an athletic teen or child, but lying in bed and traveling by a wheelchair for weeks had a certain way of changing a person. 

…

A few days have passed.

"I really am sick of sitting here all day long" he said, pointing at the stack of books and movies on the side table, "I'm even fed up with those."

 "Oh really?" Ann said with mock shock, "Am I not fun enough for you, young man?" she said while acting as if she was offended.

"N-no, no I didn't mean that..." Edd said quickly, his nervous self threatening to take over, but before he managed to finish his sentence, Ann started laughing. 

"I was kidding, doll" she said while still laughing.

Feeling annoyed, Edd mumbled something incoherent, causing Ann to laugh even harder and louder. "Ok, ok, that's enough now" she tried to calm herself. She continued, "I was thinking; about a year or two ago, May started learning how to play the guitar. After a couple of weeks she got sick of it and never touched the expensive guitar or one of those self-learning books ever again. Would you like me to bring them here? It would be a nice change of routine, don't you think?"

Quiet for a few moments, he replied "That will be splendid, thank you." And then he smiled wide, revealing all his pearly whites to the lovable nurse. Eddward’s smiling became a rare occurrence in the grim surrounding of the hospital. 

By the end of the seventh grade, all his permanent teeth and one wisdom tooth had grown in, making his gap to close up to almost nonexistence. Only people who had known him for quite some time remembered the gap, sometimes even forgetting he doesn’t have it anymore.

…

By eleven o'clock of the next day, Eddward managed to finish the first book, explaining the basics of musical notes. He very quickly found himself actually enjoying himself, reading about the history of the modern guitar.

It will be five days until Eddward will actually try to play the first chord, claiming he is ought to know everything one needs to know before playing. 

…

Seeing Eddward somewhat happy for the time being, learning something new, Ann felt pleased with her decision to work for the Vincents. Being a single parent to three teens was quite a difficult task, working as a nurse at the Peach Creek retirement home. Ann Kanker was working there for the last eight years, it was like a second home to her, spending twelve, sometimes fifteen hours a day, at the familiar setting. Thus, making her termination, last fall, extremely unexpected.

Spending the last few months searching for a long term position, she took night shifts at the local hospital, making her day to day schedule a difficult one. Not sleeping well and the low pay had depressed the usually cheerful woman quite a bit.

When the Vincents questioned the hospital nurse crew if someone is available to work for them, word traveled fast to the ears of Ann. Hearing a nurse is in need to assist the daily life of a teen boy, Ann was eager to work for the couple. She always wanted a son, but after three daughters, she stopped trying.

After a meeting with the couple, and after learning the circumstances behind it all, her heart broke for the poor kid. Being all alone like that, hurt, she couldn't start to imagine how he felt, yet she was determined to help him. He had a place in her heart even before they met. 

Being that lost in thought at the meeting, she almost didn't hear the pay for said job, her jaw almost dropped. They signed an agreement, deeming Ann to be Edd's legal guardian, paying her a sum of five thousand dollars a month, medical insurance guaranteed for her and her daughters and a family sized vehicle to use. Ann received an unlimited credit card to attend the vehicle and to purchase food, clothing, school supplies and pretty much everything their son might need. Confounded by the couple's generosity, she agreed to all their terms and conditions. 

When getting home that night, the mom told her daughters of her new position, they were overjoyed. The four spent the night watching movies and eating special sushi, which they usually couldn't afford, followed by a delicious cake. The girls didn't go to school the next day. 

For the first time in years, Ann felt a feeling she didn't know she will ever feel. She had financial security for the time being, she could afford new clothes for her daughters, she no longer had to be anxious about the end of the month bills, and most importantly her family had medical insurance.  

Life was about to change for the best.   
…

Lounging on the soft armchair with her legs crossed, she snapped out of her thoughts, smiling, she said "You said something, honey?"

 Looking confused, "um, yeah... You were staring at me… Smiling.” He said with a tinge of red to his cheeks, he never was one for attention. “Just wanted to make sure everything is alright…" He said awkwardly, rubbing his thigh with the palm of his hand.

Looking at him, Ann had an even bigger smile, saying "Everything is fine, I'm just really happy. Sorry if I scared you, I got lost at thought.”

He make an ‘oh’ sound. She continued “You are a great kid, Eddward, you know?"

"S-sure..."

“You are so damn cute, too!” she squealed at him, making his cheeks to change to a deeper shade of red. “Come on, play me something new.”

He looked at her, picking up the guitar she insisted he will call ‘his guitar’. Adjusting himself, he took a final glance of her smiling face before starting to play a simple 4 chord song. _Why can’t my mom be this awesome…When all this is done, I’m going to miss her. Do not get attached Eddward. This will end, like everything else that is good. Do not get your hopes up, this is just going to hurt, I can tell already._ Snapping out of his thoughts, he shook his head and began to play.

He played for an hour or so, stopping when some dust entered his nose and he started to sneeze violently. Covering his face with his hands, he sneezed a few more times, moistening his palms.

 When he finished said sneeze attack, he looked up at Ann, who by now had fallen off the couch she was on, lying on the floor and holding her stomach laughing. She was in her mid-thirties, yet acted like a child at times.

“This is _not_ funny!” he yelled at her.

She looked up at him, he was holding his hands away from his body, all wet from sneezing, his oversized white t-shirt slid off his shoulder completely, but the most significant change in his appearance was his hat. His hat had slide of his head a bit, revealing his hair line.

When Edd stood up, grabbing the crunches and by some peculiar way not actually touching the handles with his contaminated palms. Taking a step forward his hat had fallen off completely, revealing his secretive hair. Realizing what happened, Edd had paled, his heart stopping for a moment and then continuing full force.

No one had seen his hair for years now. When he was about eleven years old, Eddy ripped his beanie of his head for the last time, Edd gave him the cold shoulder for two weeks after that.

There he stood, looking at the nurse wide eyed, about to start crying. _She is going to think I’m a complete freak, so humiliating._

Eddward was born with a full head of dark, almost blackish thick hair. As the years went by, as he matured, it changed to the most beautiful medium brown shade. When he was younger and he and his parents used to drive to their secluded mountain house for summer vacation, it changed in sun exposure; becoming a dark shade of blonde at some parts and even blonde at the parts framing his face, considering he wore his hair in a small bun or a ponytail.

Usually it won’t pass his shoulders, but because he didn’t see his parents for so long, there was no one he could trust with his secret to cut his hair, it now ran a couple of inches below his shoulders. It was mostly straight, and wavy towards the ends.

At this point in life, his head of hair was a shade of almost chocolaty brown all over, besides a significant amount in the middle of the front of his scalp, towards the left. His secret. From the minute he was born, said amount of scalp surface, not larger that the parameter of a small coin, was entirely covered with whitish blonde hair. Strands of blonde framing the left side of his face.

“What’s wrong, honey?” Ann said, not realizing the problem.

Edd just stood there, looking at her, blinking.

“When did you get your hair dyed?” she said while crooking her face a bit.

 _She think its dye?_ Getting a bit upset at her mistake, he said a bit angrily “It’s not hair dye!” He proceeded to walk to the sink to wash his hands. Taking a large dollop of antibacterial soap, he started to scrub at his hands, cleansing them as thoroughly as possible. Zoning out for a second, he thought about all the different bacteria that is probably covering the tap, he had mild chills go through him and shut the water with his clothed elbow.

“What do you mean it’s not dye?” She questioned, puzzled.

While returning to the bed, he answered her “What I mean is that I’ve got depigmentation within a certain patch in my scalp, causing the hair to grow blonde.”

“Is that why you wear the hat all the time?” silence. “It is? Oh, honey” She said with a tinge of a sad expression to her face.

“I truly don’t think you realize how handsome you look without that old hat. Your hair is so full and shiny, I never thought to imagine this is what you are hiding beneath the hat. Though, you can use a trim, you must be hot all the time!” Her smile dropping immediately.

 With her face changing to a panicked one, she rambled “Oh dear, you could die of a heat stroke with this amount of hair beneath the thick beanie, you must be so uncomfortable, and how could I not notice that! What time is it?!” Her maternal instinct kicking in at once, looking for her phone to check, she almost sprinted for the charging phone, saying “It’s eight, it’s too late to go to buy shears to trim your hair!”

In between all the fuzz in the room, sitting down on the bed now, Edd thought _so this is what it is like to have a worried mom, kinda entertaining._ Holding himself from laughing, he said “Hey, its fine, I’m not going to die.”

Spinning herself towards him she blurted a bit angrily “No, you are certainly _not_ going to die because tomorrow morning, _first_ thing in the morning, I am going to buy the damn scissors and I’m going to trim your hair! And no more hat, it’s almost August!”

“Eh…” he couldn’t think of an answer.

She shot him a glare, “No Eh and no Beh, you do as I say.”

A bit scared he bit the inside of his lip and said quietly “Ok, Ok…”

For the last few weeks, they developed this mother/son/friend relationship that made Eddward wonder how is she as a mother to her daughters, whether she treats them as she treats him, if they feel this much love on a regular basis for the entirety of their life. When jealousy started to surface, he snapped out of these thoughts and concentrated on something else.

The next morning, Edd got his much needed trim, now his hair was framing his face, ending about two inches before his shoulders, causing Ann to complement him for how cute she thought he looked for the entirety of the morning, Edd felt rather uncomfortable. However, he insisted to wear his hat, saying it doesn’t bother him after so many years of wearing it.

…

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> N/A: Hey guys, I really hope you enjoyed this story up to this point.
> 
> I was wondering though, can anyone else really relate to Double D over here? I myself am quite the Germaphobe, and a smarty, too, lol. However, I was never bullied for being nerd at school, no one actually knew I was in fact smart, with skipping school all the time and having tattoos and a fucking Mohawk, you’d never guess.
> 
> What I’m trying to say is that I’m not a sociable person, I never interacted with a lot of people as a teen. So, basically, the entirety of social experience I get these days are from books. Thus, if things seem a bit off, excusez-moi.
> 
> Next chapter is about Marie, I hope you’ll enjoy my take on her personality.


	4. Marie Reintroduced

_ Enjoy. _

Spending almost all his time learning how to play the guitar and watching movies, time had flew by fast. Now, towards the middle of August, the summer heat could be felt greatly. Sitting on the hospital room couch, near the window, reading a horror story book at almost midnight, Edd couldn’t tell if he was sweating because he was terrified or because it was hot as literal hell in his room. He assumed it was the former.

Putting his head down on the soft couch handle, he pulled up his legs on the other one. For the last few days he managed to somewhat walk on his cast free leg. However, his doctor repeatedly said to him that his walking, or limping, is terribly wrong and that he shouldn’t attempt walking by himself in account that he can injure himself. By now, the pain was reduced to an uncomfortable feeling at most.

Throwing the book on the small coffee table in front of him, Edd grabbed the guitar and started playing Bob Dylan’s, Knocking on Heavens Door.

In the past few weeks, music became inseparable from Eddward’s state of mind. He finally got what people meant when they said he needs to feel the music, rather than to listen to it. He could let himself touch the pain he once felt too week to feel; music is undeniably accepting at times, he thought.

“Please go to sleep, Mr. Vincent. This cannot go on, you bother the neighboring residence.” A woman with a thick Spanish accent startled Edd from his not-so-peaceful thoughts.

Snapping his eyes open, he remembered of the time “Sorry, sorry. It won’t happen again.”

“You keep saying that every other night…” She nodded her head ‘no’, “Look, if you want to be awake, please, be my guest. But you cannot wake the other people that are sleeping in this department.”

“Certainly. I’ll be quiet.” And with that the nurse left.

Edd wasn’t sleeping much again. Most days he watched movies, listened to music or read until he basically passed out involuntary. Ann had no idea of this, the only one that knew how little sleep he was getting was the nameless nurse that interrupted him once in a while to quiet him down. Edd was sure she was just bored out of her mind so she came to speak with him about the importance of sleeping here and there.

…

It was a boring morning, Edd woke up at 07:40 am. After using his crutches to go brush his teeth, an action that became stupidly hard since the incident, he returned to bed to watch a documentary about lions. By the end of the documentary, Eddward ate a banana and a chocolate pudding. 

By 11:30, he started to wonder where is Ann. Deciding to check up on her, he picked up his phone, only to realize it's out of battery power. Plugging the device to the charger, Edd picked up the guitar from the bed side, and started to play it Pieces by Sum 41, and humming the words quietly.

About ten minutes had passed, thinking it was enough for the phone to charge he glanced at the phone, seeing he received a few messages and had a few missed calls. Leaning to pick it up, he was startled by a knock on the door.   
   
"What", he yelled, annoyed. Correcting himself immediately, "I mean, you may come in".

"Are you sure? You sound rather busy", said a blue haired girl, sarcastically, picking her face through the open door. Looking at him, thin brows lifted, dark navy eyes questioning whether this is a good idea or not.

"H-hey Marie", he said hesitantly.

With a grin, she entered the room, sitting down on the armchair, saying "How's it goin' Double D?"

 "I'm ok, what are you doing here?" He said, puzzled.

"Well, you didn't answer your phone, so mom sent me and Lee to check up on you, she obviously drove off, leaving me to wonder this maze of a hospital" Marie said with a tinge of anger at the end.

"Sorry, I'm fine, the battery died. How come Ann is not here this morning?"

"Because," pausing, "May tried to bleach her hair, but being the fucktard she is, she chemically burned her scalp a bit. She'll be fine, she received this smelly cream at the clinic, and she’s at home now. Mom is comforting her. Her hair is a mess, it's all, like, this white Afro, it's pretty hilarious." She finished giggling.

 Overwhelmed with the news, Edd nodded and said "Ok", looking at her, waiting.

 She tilted her head, saying "I'm not leaving". 

With a bit of disappointment, he said "Ok".

After a few more moments of silence, she spoke "Look, I know you might be uncomfortable with me being here. I really am sorry for all the trouble me and my sisters caused you and the two dorks, we were young, stupid, y'know? I don't know, I'm not expecting for you to forgive us, or" looking down, she continued "It's just, I really wanted to be your friend when I was a kid, you were the only other smart kid at the block, but then my sisters started to tease me about it, and, well, long story short, sorry. I can go if you want, I'm just... I'm rambling. You speak now" she chuckled awkwardly. 

 _She wanted to be my friend, I don't think anyone wanted to be my friend. Well, Ed and Eddy were always there, and that is obviously over... She's so different from what I remembered, she seems sincere._ "Eh, no, stay, it's lonely here" he said with a half-smile.

"Good, I brought a few new movies, snacks and lunch. So, let's have fun... This summer vacation was so boring 'till now. Lee is always out with her boyfriend, I think she's gonna drop out of school. Honestly, I'm surprised she managed to stay in school 'till the eleventh grade. And May is just… She's boring.. Always with her little stupid friends at the mall or something stupid like that. I'm rambling again, choose a movie" she said, displaying the five movies to him in her hands.

"I didn't knew what movies you like, so..." She said, with a questioning look to her. Edd looked at the movies and pointed to a horror movie.

"Ok, where's your laptop?" She said looking around.

Pointing, Edd mouthed ‘There’. 

After about a couple of hours watching the movie, it ended. Eddward pulled the disk out of the computer and handed it to Marie. She said "That was cute."

 Looking up to meet her eyes, Edd said with a smirk "I'm not sure 'cute' is the best word to describe a homicidal maniac, but whatever floats your boat."

 Shocked from his lack of shyness, she snorted and waved him off, "Just shut up.”

Closing the bag of the remaining potato chips, not looking at him, she asked with a serious manner "So, how's your legs? When will you be able to walk?" A few moments of silence passed before she looked up at him.

He said "Well, I just got my cast off, so my leg is really tender and cannot support much weight. In a week or so I will be getting this brace thing off, too. Only then will I start physical therapy in order the learn how to use my mangled legs again. I use those crutches to move around the room, but it's really uncomfortable for long periods of time.”

 “Oh, ok. Everything will be alright in no time, I'm sure. Wanna go out for a walk. Or a wheel, really?" She laughed quietly.

"I don't mind, but do you? I look like a slob in my clothes over here, and I'm not planning on changing anytime soon", Edd said looking down at his clothes, he wore navy sweatpants, a few sizes too big of a t-shirt and his black beanie, covering his mess of a bed head, now shorter and sticking in every direction.

"I couldn't care less. Honestly, I only look put together cause my mom forced me to, if it was up to me, I'd wear my pj's" she shrugged. Marie wore a pair of blue skinny jeans, an off the shoulder baggy black shirt with some band print, and a pair of high converse. 

Walking around the parameter of the hospital, Marie stopped wheeling Eddward and stood in front of him, saying "I've got an idea, we should totally go to the local museum, they've got this new cool exhibit, and they got all sorts of tropical bugs and plants and such." She looked at him hopefully.

 "I don't know" he said hesitantly.

Taking his shoulders in her small hands, she pleaded "Come on Double D, it'll be fun! No one will ever go with me besides mom and she's always with you. Pleaseeee."

"Fine. I need to change, though. I’m not sure slippers are acceptable museum attire." he said with a small smile.

"Ha! I knew you didn't forget how to smile! We gonna have so much fun, I'm so excited Double D", she practically sang his nickname with her sweet voice.

…

After indeed a pretty exciting time in the museum, the couple of teenagers got back to the hospital room to find a very displeased Ann.

“Hey mama! We had such an awesome time in the…”

But before Marie could finish, Ann practically shouted at her “Marie! Where the hell have you two been?! I could have sworn I sent you here to check up on Eddward and when I try and reach out to either of you, you are nowhere to be seen or heard!”

 “I told you we forgot something…” Edd mumbled.

“Yeah, when we were paying for the tickets, you genius.”

Done with being silent, Ann spoke “I was so worried of you two. I didn’t know where you were, and if something would have happened to either of you out there, I wouldn’t even know of it. You could have been dead for all I knew!”

“Mom! Chillax, we’re fine. We went to the museum to see that exhibit I told you about. It was really fun.”

“You can’t go anywhere without my permission, both of you.” She sent them the death glare.

Whispering to Edd, Marie said “She’s a bit creepy sometimes, huh?”

“I CAN HEAR YOU!” Ann roared.

“Holy mother of…” Marie started saying, but got interrupted by Edd.

“Shut up, Marie. Sorry, it won’t happen again.”

“Traitor.” Marie hissed towards a rolling Edd.

“You are going to be so grounded when we’re getting back home.” Ann said.

“What? Why? I didn’t do anything wrong.” Marie said with puppy eyes.

“We caused your mother a great pain this noon, Marie. This is merely an educated response on our irresponsible actions.” Edd said.

“Wow, you suck.” Marie said, rolling her eyes. “I’m going to take the bus home, if the judge will allow it.” She looked at her mom.

“I will allow it, but if you won’t call me when you get back home, you will be grounded until your twenty five.”

And with a wave to her hand, Marie left the room.

After a few minutes, Eddward’s explanation of the museum tour was disturbed by his phone’s vibration upon the wooden table, causing it to drop on the floor. When he picked it up, there was a text massage from an unfamiliar number. It read:

From unknown number: ‘Unlock yourself from the neurotic need to please, it erodes the soul.’

He quickly texted back, ‘Marie?’

The replay came in lightning speed –

‘Ding!Ding!Ding!’

…

Within the next week, Edd found out that Marie doesn’t sleep much either, so they spent most of the nights the following weeks talking to each other. Edd never spoke this much to anyone in his entire life so in no time his organized, well put together text messages became a bit more casual and he even started using slang to shorten certain phrases.

He learned that Marie is really an interesting person, she is knowledgeable in a lot of different life subjects. He found out that she is familiar with a lot of great movies and good music, that she reads interesting books, and can play the piano, draw beautiful portraits and cook with real talent. The more they spoke, the more he liked her.

It seemed like she always had the right thing to say in order to cheer him up. With Ed and Eddy he always felt like the background noice of their friendship, like everything he said was never taken into consideration and that it did not even matter that much. When speaking to Marie, he felt like he was part of something, like she was really interested in what he had to say.

His usual meager presence, insignificant to his family and close friends, was now important to the petite blue haired girl. She would ask him what he thought of different aspects in her life, which came to surprise him; his opinion never held much importance to the people around him, he was never asked for it.

To Marie: ‘It’s weird, I feel like this isn’t unusual at all. Like we were friends for years.’

To Double D: ‘Ikr? I kinda feel sad, though… for not actually being friends with you for as long as we know each other, you know?’

To Marie: ‘I feel the same way. However, I am royally friendless and literally cannot go anywhere, so as long as you’d like, I’m here.’

To Double D: ‘I should really try and go to sleep, school starts in a week and as much as I enjoy this, you should go to sleep too, tomorrow you start your physical therapy! We’d be able to go anywhere in no time, you know!’

To Marie: ‘Sleep is for the weak.’

To Double D: ‘You telling me? When I was a little girl I decided that tomorrow doesn’t start unless I went to sleep and woke up. According to that concept, it’s 2010 over here. Now, go to sleep!’

To Marie: ‘Nighty night, time traveler.’

It was almost 04:30 am when the conversation finally ended. Truth be told, Eddward was nervous for the upcoming morning. His leg brace was removed and he was planned to start therapy first thing in the morning.

Lying in bed for this long, he had started to believe that he’s never going to walk on his own, that he is going to limp away to his own demise in this very hospital room. Edd was pleasantly surprised when the doctor told him his healing progress is going great and he will be able to move around in no time.

For some reason, this scared the teen even more. He was afraid that things will go back to how they used to be; he will return to school where everyone will make fun of him and bully him, he will return to his cold house alone without Ann and he will return to sleepless nights filled with awful thoughts.

For a person who spent most of his life alone, you ought to think he will get used to being alone, but he never did. He always had hope for someone to care for him enough to not leave him alone with himself.

 In his lonesomeness he learned to hate the person he truly was inside. He never really cared for people, Edd was politely indifferent to the world around him, a world that failed him.

Repeatedly, he put his faith in people, only to be crushed and get hurt by people who he cared a considerably amount more than they did. And he hated knowing that, he started wishing he was a tad less smart, he didn’t want to know or understand the life he was living.

In this point in life, he was a broken shell of the person he used to be when he was a kid. From the outside, you could argue he looked pretty much the same, however his set of mind changed considerably. He was now filled with so much hurt, hatred, lonesomeness, indifference and anxiety…he was a grown up for a while now.

He felt like he lived the perfect lie- the perfect straight A+ kid, living in a perfect clean house, having the perfect two best friends, brothers really, and being polite and nice all the time to whoever is around him. Life couldn’t seem more perfect.

But in reality, life weren’t that easy for him. His grades never bothered him, most of his classes he passed entirely because he was naturally so smart, he zoned out for most of them for years now.

His house was always clean and tidy because living in a dirty house gave him severe anxiety, he felt like his life were falling apart when the house was messy, like he couldn’t control the world around him.

His two best friends never really cared for him that much, he only tagged a long when he knew they were up to something, he was never invited to go out and do activities with them.

And finally, his over the top politeness was a coping mechanism. He never wanted to let anyone in, so he acted as if he was completely contempt with his life. Like all the bullying had no effect on him. He sported his gapped smile for everyone to see, and hid his true feelings behind it.

But the gap between his front teeth was long gone, forgotten with all of his past love, hope and innocence. He was just a pretender, and Eddward Vincent was done pretending.

He was damn terrified of the future.

…

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey, just wanted to say I appreciate your reviews and the following of this story.
> 
> Plus, I hope you’ll listen to the music I am going to mention throughout this story.


	5. Somewhere I Belong

__

_ Enjoy. _

__

“Eddward! Wake up this instant!” Ann yelled at him.

“What?! I’m up, I’m up…” Edd mumbled.

“If you are not up on your feet in the next ten seconds, I am not going to hesitate whooping your ass, young man.”

“Okay, okay… What time is it?” he asked, looking at her with half lidded eyes.

“It’s eleven forty, I’ve been trying to wake you up for the past hour.” Ann said, annoyed.

“Fuck! My therapy thingy is in twenty minutes!” Edd panicked and tried to get up as quickly as possible, only to fall down on his ass.

“Calm down, and watch your language!” Ann scolded.

“Oh, shit, I didn’t… Shit. Fu…” _What is wrong with me?_

“Eddward!”

“Sorry.”

“Now get up, go wash yourself quickly and I’m going to warm your food for the third time.” Ann said while helping Edd to sit on his bed.

“Okay…um… would you mind being with me?” He asked shyly. Edd really hated asking her such a thing, but he was really scared tripping again in the shower alone.

It took Ann about a week to convince him to allow her to help him in the shower. Back then, he used to take his showers in the sink with a wet cloth, claiming he wasn’t that dirty and that he can manage on his own. Truthfully, he started to stink, and Ann was having none of it, so when he became unbearable in her mind, she wheeled him to the shower and stated that either he takes his clothes off on his own or she is going to undress him by herself. Deciding the former will be the least unpleasant, he removed his clothes and let her help him.

For a few weeks now he was showering on his own, until one morning he tripped over his own foot and banged his head on the wet hospital floor. Since then, he’s been asking Ann to be with him in the room while he showers.

“Of course I don’t mind, Honey.” Ann said sweetly, she calmed down immediately by his request. He was like a small child to her at times like this, even though he was in fact a few inches taller than her, but that was a given, she was only 5’2” (1.57 m).

At this point in time, he couldn’t care less of her seeing his naked body, so when he finished with his five minute shower he walked to her in nothing but a towel to his not so thin waist.

“I’m done. What do I have the pleasure eating this morning?” He said while walking with Ann towards his bed.

“I brought pancakes with syrup, whipped cream and fruits, but I don’t know… You’ve developed this little belly recently, and I’m pretty sure my cooking is to blame.” Ann said laughing a bit, “I don’t need another child telling me I have made them fat.”

“Too skinny, too fat… you can’t win, can you?” Edd said, looking down to his little belly.

“I guess you can’t… Try saying that to Marie, you wouldn’t hear the end of it.” Ann snorted.

_Marie thinks she’s fat? Now that’s just stupid. She looks great… She’s so petite, like Ann, she doesn’t have large breasts, but her butt is plump and cute, and I bet she has this cute little belly too… Fuck.  You’re still in a towel, Eddward. What the fuck._

Snapping out of his thoughts, he said “She is quite of a stubborn one, huh?”

“You don’t know the half of it. Now get dressed while I heat up your food.”

‘Hmh’ he noised. _Calm down. Stupid hormones._

Edd finished his food just in time, at twelve o’clock sharp the doctor entered the room with a nurse and a wheelchair that had ‘Physical Therapy’ written on the backside of it.

“Good morning, Mr. Vincent, are you ready for your first session today?” The doctor said with a fake smile to his face.

“Yes, doctor. Let’s get this over with.” Edd answered him rudely, earning a glare from Ann.

…

After a tedious noon, trying to stand on his feet for more than a few seconds, Edd found the task rather excruciating. He could feel every single muscle he knew and didn’t knew he had, sending chills of pain all throughout his body, he hated it. He hated the therapist, he hated every single word he said and he hated his fragile and weak body. _I wish I could just fast forward through this shit_ , he thought to himself the entire session.

This went on for about three hours, Edd was so stupidly out of shape that the therapy and the little work out he had drained him completely.

By the evening he got over his grumpy attitude and started reading the upcoming year’s learning material he received by mail from the school. He wasn’t surprised to find out that he is already familiar with almost all of the subjects. _This is going to be a boring home schooling year for sure, but at least I won’t suffer through the hell of bullying and social interaction._

Edd really was relieved that he won’t have to go back to school this year. He was not excited for the 10th grade what so ever, he dreaded seeing the jocks who beat him up this badly. _They are probably glad my presence won’t ‘disturb’ them anymore. Stupid bullies. If only I was slightly bigger, I would be able to intimidate others._

That’s when it hit him, he _can_ get bigger and stronger, it’s just a matter of will power and endurance, and, well, now he has all the time in the world to go to therapy and work out. When he’ll be forced to return to that hell, he will return stronger, stronger in mind and body.

…

The following weekend Marie surprised Edd in the morning with ice cream and a few new movies. They spoke about school and how Marie hates going there as well.

 Apparently, Marie also gets picked on quite a lot, but being the tough looking girl she is, it never escalates further than name calling her. ‘Ugly’, ‘Weirdo’, ‘Blue whale’, ‘Freak’ and ‘White trash’ being the main ones.

Since Marie was a kid, people never seem to accept her. Her sisters were quite popular and pretty, but she never fit in. Being naturally blue haired and having a petite body built like her mom, kids liked to pick on her, causing her to toughen up through the years. Trying to make yourself believe words cannot hurt you was difficult. Of course they did. 

Until the fourth grade, Marie didn’t thought she was weird looking, ugly or fat. But that was long gone. She hated how she looked. She was constantly comparing herself to other girls, guys sometimes too. She tried telling herself she doesn’t need anybody telling her she was appealing, but inside, she did.

She dreaded walking through the gate of Peach Creek High School in two days. She bought some new clothes, but nothing looked to her standards, she looked ugly and fat to herself and every time she tried another piece of clothing she was discouraged further, dropping her non-existent confidence to a lower point than it already was.

She truly hated her body, she felt like no matter how much she tries, no matter what diet she is on or how much she tries to work out, she has no say on how her body is going to look. She felt out of control, she hated it.

Some days were better, she didn’t think about it at all, she was so happy and giddy for the life she had, wanting to go on adventures and do new things, and was a completely different person. Other days, most days, she was a mess. She lied all day in bed, not studying or doing her chores, not even thinking. She lied in bed, watched sad movies and listened to sad music. 

When she was in that state, nothing seemed appealing to her, she was numb to the world around her. Sometimes, late into the night, she felt like she deserved it, being like this, all alone. There was something comforting in being alone.

Late in the night she was free to feel things alone. However, she never did feel. It was just numb sadness. In eight grade she couldn’t take the feeling anymore, so she took the nearest pair of scissors and hurt herself for the first time. It felt good to feel again, even if for a short while.

She felt in somewhat control of herself. She could control the pain, she could feel. Waking up in the mornings following the self-abuse, she would look in the mirror, hating what she done, but that never stopped her doing it again and again for the years to come.

Towards the end of the ninth grade, she started smoking when she felt like she hurt herself too much, she couldn’t think of something else to calm her down, so she stole a few cigarettes from her older sister who smoked.

Some days, she almost couldn’t handle life anymore, thinking that it’s only a few inches towards the inside of her thigh, a few deeper and everything will be over. All the pain and suffering will be over. That unreachable peace seemed appealing at times.

Walking in long pants and never going to the beach or pool prevented from anyone to take notice of all her self-harm scars. No one knew, she couldn’t let anyone know. No one would accept her if they knew. She felt pathetic and weak for doing what she done to herself, but couldn’t stop.

…

“So, what are we doing for your birthday in a couple of weeks? When are your parents coming back?” Marie asked Edd, after remembering his 16 birthday is coming up soon.

“Nothing, I’m not into birthday parties…Parents probably will text or call me if they won’t forget this year.” Edd said nonchalantly.

“Why nothing? We could go and do something fun, throw a party or something. Get presents… you know.”

“Party?” Edd chuckled. “Who, if I can ask, will we invite?”

“Myself, my fab mommy and we can invite the other two Eds.”

“I am not friends with them anymore.” Edd said, trying to conceal his sadness. He missed them for the past months he spent in the hospital, he never really thought this was it, that their friendship is over.

Marie felt that something was off, “Well, in that case, we don’t need those fuckers. You have me and I’m fucking awesome!” She exclaimed.

“Yes you are. You are also late for the bus for the second time, if you won’t leave soon you’ll miss the last bus home.”

“Well, maybe I’ll just stay here with you. Or… are you kicking me out?” Marie said as if she got offended by the insinuation.

“Yes. Leave. You are not the one to spend the day with your mom. And after last time, I had this bombing headache. She ranted for like two hours straight about you being irresponsible. Seriously, go.” He said with a mock scared expression to his face.

“Ha-Ha. Leaving, jerk.” Marie spat.

“Me? A jerk?” He said, acting as if shocked and offended.

“Yeah, you. Everyone probably thinks you’re still this cute little Double D, but we both know that you are a fucking asshole. Now, bye bye.” She said while poking his chest with her index finger.

“~Bye.” He said with an amused tone.

…

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yup, I gave Marie Bipolar disorder and she is a self-harmer. I wanted this story to feel real, and this things happen. It’s hard being beautiful in a world that’s trying to make us spell ‘beauty’, as in one that emerges no deeper than our skin. ‘Beauty’ is a lie.
> 
> If you ever got bullied, as a kid, a teen or even as an adult; I’m sorry, people can be cruel. And if you ended up hurting yourself or doing things you shouldn’t have been, it’s okay. There is no shame in being hurt, alone or broken. You just need to get through it, just hold on, because all of the pain and suffering will end, you will survive this.
> 
> To the bullied and beautiful: I love you.
> 
> …
> 
> Next chapter Kevin is appearing, get excited you guys.
> 
> Did I mention this is going to be a long one? We’re at 12K words and things are just getting started.
> 
> The title for this chapter is driven from the song title of Linkin Park’s ‘Somewhere I Belong’. You should listen to it, it’s fitting for the situation, I think. I’m really into old songs lol.
> 
> Review this and let me know what you think?
> 
>  
> 
>  


	6. It's Okay

 

_ Enjoy. _

It was the first day of September, the first day of the tenth grade for Kevin, and the first practice of the year; Kevin really couldn’t be more excited.

For the past few months of summer vacation, Kevin was miserable. Spending the vacation in his grandmother’s house with his parents, aunt and cousins was exhausting, to say the least. He spent the days listening to his parents fight and babysitting his cousins while the grownups want out to town. By the end of the summer, he got used to his parents constant fights. He never realized how much they really fought until that summer.

When the Barr family got back to Peach Creek, the first thing Kevin did was to catch up with his friends, he missed them. He missed Rolf’s peculiar personality, Johnny and Plank, Sarah’s loud mouth and even Jimmy’s innocence, but mostly he missed his best friend and girlfriend- Nazz.

Since the seventh grade the redhead and Nazz have been going out sporadically; a few weeks here, a month there. All of which have ended up because one of them had pissed off the other to walk away and stop all communication at school and afterwards.

Being as popular as he was, school was his kingdom; full of teens who adored their handsome young football star and friends who he loved to hang out with him.

By 06:40 Kevin was ready for his seven a.m. football practice and especially ready to drive his new motorcycle he got for his sixteenth birthday over the summer, for the first time to school.

Tucking his old red hat in the gym bag’s pocket, Kevin had put on his fiery red helmet and started the bike. When it roared to life Kevin got startled a bit by the loud noise filling the peaceful and quiet cul-de-sac.

As soon as he arrived to school, he was happy to find Rolf waiting for him by the school’s entrance.

“Good morning, Casanova Kevin-boy, yeah?” Rolf said and took a drag from the cigarette that hung from his lips.

“Morning, dude. Spare me one? Hadn’t had the chance to buy a pack yet.” Kevin asked while stepping off his bike towards Rolf.

“Yeah, yeah.” Rolf answered, handing Kevin one.

“Thanks, man. We should hurry, though… We’ve got like five minutes left ‘till practice.”

Squinting his eyes, Rolf said to Kevin “You should never hasten a son of a shepherd whilst indulging in the art of blowing the cigarette.”

“The fuck, dude? Just… Oh never mind.” Kevin said disbelievingly to the bizarre outburst his friend just had.

As the years went by, Rolf managed to calm his immigrant demeanor, yet at times he blurted the strangest things that usually had to do with his farm, pets or dear nana.

When the boys finished smoking, they got quickly to the locker rooms to change in order to join the practice. Luckily for them, the coach was late as well, so they got to the field just in time.

The practice went by swiftly. By the end of it, Coach Anderson had pulled the team aside to announce the new captain, it was a junior named Chad. Chad was never one of Kevin’s closest friends, but he did spent some time with him at school and in parties. After some cheers for the new captain, the coach let them know that that day after school the tryouts for the team are going to be held.

Subsequently, Kevin took a quick shower and changed to his sleeveless red t-shirt and skinny jeans, said his goodbye to Rolf and they split up.

Getting into the classroom, Kevin searched the class for familiar faces and was annoyed to see Eddy laughing with Ed about something on his phone.

“Dorks.” He grumbled while passing beside Eddy and bumping his backpack with Eddy’s head.

Since Kevin and Eddy were mere children, playing in the familiar cul-de-sac, neither of them could stand the presence of the other. Eddy’s constant attempts to achieve popularity whilst trying to scam the other kids annoyed Kevin to no end, causing a high percentage of their interactions to end in a verbal, sometimes physical, conflict.

“Watch it, fucktard.” Eddy snapped at him.

“Ass-wipe.” Kevin retorted.

Siting in a seat at the back of the class, he slouched in it when the teacher entered the room. It was Mrs. Coldwell. Kevin couldn’t stand the chirpy literature teacher, she was too old in his opinion to be this joyful all the time.

“Good morning everyone! I am Mrs. Coldwell, for those of you who don’t know me, I will be your literature teacher this year. Let us begin this with a quick attendance check.” She said while pulling out her daybook.

When the teacher reached Edd’s name the class went quiet.

“Eddward Vincent is not here? That’s unusual.” She exclaimed.

 _Really is. Where is the nerd?_ The redheaded wondered.

“He ain’t gonna come to school this year, huh?” Eddy said to Ed, loud enough for everyone to hear.

“And why not, if I may ask?” Mrs. Coldwell asked.

“Cause he’s too fucked up to walk, my guess.” Eddy said nonchalantly while shrugging.

This statement spiked Kevin’s curiosity, considering the fact that the bug eyed nerd was a constant in his life since the Sockhead moved to Peach Creek. Being friends with Eddy, Edd was an annoyance by connection. Whenever Kevin get pissed at the short Ed the smart one tried to reason him into retreating, which mostly got Kevin even angrier. In turn, Eddward ended up getting most of the verbal bullying before Kevin walked away.

“Please see me when the class end’s, Mr. Sampson.” She said a bit dazed by Eddy’s remark.

When the class ended Kevin tried to stay near the classroom so that he could eavesdrop to Eddy’s talk with the teacher, in order to find out what happed to Edd. However, he was interrupted by Nazz.

“Hey Kev, what’s up?” The blonde said while giving him a light hug.

“Oh, hi Nazz. I’m cool.”

“Whatcha doing here?” She asked looking up at him with a smile while tugging him a bit to move.

“Nothing.” He said when Eddy left the classroom. _Goddamn_.

“Walk me to history?” She asked.

“Sure.”

Leaving her by her classroom, Kevin crossed the hall to enter his AP biology class.

Sure, Kevin was the handsome, popular typical jock, but he was never stupid, as many assumed. He was nowhere near as smart as Marie or even Edd, but he was quite sharp.

When the class ended, Kevin took off for the cafeteria to find Eddy or even Ed to ask them what is wrong with their Double D. Sitting in a boring lesson, where the new teacher rambled on and on about last year’s topics, Kevin’s interest for the whereabouts of the dork he practically saw every day of his life grew. He tried finding out what happened on various social apps on his phone, but he found nothing. Actually, he realized the dork didn’t even had a profile on any type of social media.

Entering the lunch room, Kevin located the jock table and saw a few of his teammates sitting by it already. The dorks he was looking for were nowhere to be seen, so he moved towards the food line to get lunch.

When he sat by the table with his friends, he noticed Eddy sitting by a table by himself. Kevin got up to walk to him and dismissed his friend’s questions with ‘Just gonna mess with the dork for a bit’, which his friends approved by grinning deviously.

Standing near the table, in order to draw Eddy’s attention he said “Whoa Dork, calm down with the face stuffing. Would be a shame if you’d turn into a blimp and drift away.”

“The fuck _you_ want, Shovel-chin?” Eddy spat with actual spit and pieces of half chewed cheeseburger.

“~Well actually, _Dorko_ , I was wondering where is your little scrawny nerd?” Kevin said with a sing a song tone.

Quirking an eyebrow, Eddy said “As if you don’t know, asshole.”

“Just tell me where your stupid friend is, so I can go on my way.”

“Double D is not our friend anymore, Kevin.” Ed interrupted, while he sat down beside Eddy.

With a chuckle, Kevin said “You broke up?”

“ _Fuck off_.”

“Now, now, _Eddy_.” He spat the name in disgust, “I would suggest you to calm your tits and tell me where the fuck he is _now_.” Kevin said, annoyed that he is spending his lunch break doing this.

“Ask your dumbass friends, they would know a hell lot more than either of us.” Eddy said with a shrug. “Besides, we couldn’t care less for him, he might as well drop dead for all I care.” Eddy said in a matter of factly way.

“Whatever.” Kevin said dryly and walked back to his table. _What the fuck is going on… How come the guys know and I don’t._

At his returned to his lunch table, Kevin saw that a few more guys joined them, no girls today. He sat down quietly beside his food tray and began to eat.

Half way through his food, Kevin looked up to the teen who sat next to him and asked “Hey Chuck… have you heard something about what happened to Double Dork?”

Everyone sitting by the table went quite, all conversation paused.

“Um…I…Well,um… He…” The teen started mumbling, which annoyed Kevin.

“Can you stop mumbling and tell me, it seems everyone knows and no one wants to let me in on the joke.” He huffed.

“It was pretty funny.” Someone spoke, gaining Kevin’s attention.

“Huh?”

With spite in his tone, Chas said sarcastically “Yeah, it was _pretty fucking funny_ , when that weakling decided to fucking stand up to me for one in his now _very_ pathetic existence.”

“He stood up to _you_? Now that I regret not seeing. What did the dork do? What did _you_ do?” Kevin said with a grin.

“Well, the _dork_ fucking broke my nose.” Chad spat.

“WHAT? When did that happen?” Kevin was shocked. “Wait, the little beanie wearing nerd?”

“I know who the fuck that is!” Chad said angrily, “The little dude who you pick on, on a daily fucking basis. Kind of surprised you didn’t know, considering it practically happened at the school entrance at the end of last year. He _is_ this little nobody that no one gives a shit about, huh?”

“Sure is, Cap. You might as well finished him, no one would even notice him lying there.” A team mate said.

“Worthless piece of a dork, huh Kev?” Another snickered.

“Yeah…” Kevin said timidly.

“I hear he lied there on the pavement where we left him until some teacher found him, like an _hour_ later! People probably walked over him and didn’t even noticed him!” A kid named Anton said and started laughing manically with the rest of the table.

“I get why you always give him crap Kevin, he truly is the most annoying spaz in this school!”

Feeling a little concerned for the answer, Kevin asked hesitantly “So…What did you do to him?”

“We beat the leaving hell out of him. _Literally_!” Chad was wheezing out of breath at this point.

“We completely broke him, huh Chad?”

Waves of fear started to consume Kevin, his heart started racing.

“He looked so pathetic in that hospital room all alone, no one even cared enough to show up!”

_They sent him to the hospital? How badly could they even beat him, right?_

“Listen up Kev, we went to snick a peek at him in the hospital and heard the doctor saying that even the dork’s parents were too busy to care enough to visit him. No one came to see him!”

“No…” Kevin said unbelievingly.

“Yeah, he had tubes coming out of every hole of his body and was wrapped like a freaking mummy! Chad managed to somehow break both his legs and an arm and even his stupid face! It was a week later! No one came for a week!”

“Not my fault he’s so weak and breakable. But I totally got why you picked on him, dude. He kept crying ‘oh dear, oh dear’ the entire time, it was hilarious!”

“He was trembling in fear!” Someone practically yelled as he was laughing so hard.

That was the last statement Kevin managed to hear as he ran for the nearest trash can to vomit. He couldn’t believe the things he was hearing.

When he finished emptying out the content of his stomach and had no more to throw up, he started coughing and his eyes watered.

When trying to stand up straight, Kevin felt dizzy for a moment before he sprinted out of the lunchroom to the restroom.

As soon as he entered the empty restroom, he realized he was hyperventilating when he looked at his reflection in the mirror.

_Oh my god, oh my god, I can’t fucking breath, everything is spinning! Oh my god, everything they said! Was that all true? How could they do that to him?_

At this point he couldn’t stand on his feet anymore, he felt so light headed and his knees started to give up under him. Kevin stumbled to the wall parallel to the door and fell straight on his ass, hard.

He hugged his knees tightly and placed his forehead on them.

_How could they think that that was funny? He is so weak and innocent…so nice, too. How could they hurt him like that? They are so big and he is so small! They actually broke his bones! He must have been in such pain, and not one of them cared. How could they not care?_

_And no one came to see him, too. Oh my god, he probably felt so alone! How could his parents not care? He is the perfect kid!_

_And the dorks aren’t his friends anymore! Oh my god, he was truly all alone with all that pain. How could they do that? How could they leave him all alone like that? He must have been so scared._

_Why would they do that to him? Only I ever… oh dear lord. That was my fault. I was always picking on him and they thought it was okay to do that, they thought I thought it was funny, too. Fuck! How could I? Why no one stopped them? Why no one stopped me!_

_I’m just like them. I’m just like them. I’m just like them. How could I do that? I’m just like them._

 “What is all this mumbling about? It sounds like my nana is chanting a prayer to… Kevin? What happened? Why are you crying?” Only then did Kevin noticed he was crying. His jeans were soaked with his tears at the knees.

He didn’t even noticed Rolf walking into the restroom nor the fact that he was mumbling his thoughts. Kevin pulled up his head only to fixate his stare to a distant point in the room. He felt numb. He didn’t even feel Rolf tugging and shaking him to snap out of it.

“Kevin! What happened?” Rolf yelled at him. Kevin got scared so badly he shrieked into a small ball, hugging himself, moving slightly back and forth and sobbing quietly. _No, no, no, no, no…_

“Hey it’s okay, everything is okay.” Rolf tried to relax him as he sat on his knees looking straight to his friend, holding him by the shoulders.

Kevin shook his head violently ‘no’ like a little kid, as Rolf repeater the phrase ‘it’s okay’ as if it was a mantra. Kevin took his hands and palmed his ears, he didn’t want to hear it. Nothing was okay, this was _his_ fault.

“Okay. It is not okay. Do you want to tell me how come it’s not okay?” Rolf asked him calmly.

In a shaky voice, Kevin tried to explain what was so very wrong “Double D, he… I always tease him… I’m a bully…” he said with a sob, “Chad and the guys… It’s my fault… I always…”

“Hey, no! Don’t say that. This is not your fault, Kevin.” Rolf said as he pulled a shaking Kevin into a tight hug.

“I never knew that will happen!” Kevin said.

“It’s okay, calm down now.”

Wrapping his arms around his friend, Kevin sobbed quietly into Rolf’s shirt for a few minutes.

“How could they do that to him?” Kevin whispered.

“I don’t know, Kev. They are fucking insane, I don’t know.”

“He is so small and fragile.” “I was just joking when I was mean…”

“It’s okay.” Rolf replayed, stroking Kevin’s back.

“I really liked him, Rolf.” Kevin whispered so softly in was almost inaudible.

Pulling back, Rolf saw Kevin stopped crying. “I know.”

“This is my fault, _I_ deserve that beating. _I_ deserve being in the hospital. I was so mean to him all the time…” And as he started talking, the tears began to flow again. “How could I have done that? He never deserved a thing.”

“This is not your fault.” Rolf didn’t even knew what to say or do, beneath his calm mask he was shocked. He never saw his friend like this, he never saw him crying or hurt like that. He always looked up at his friend to be so cool and strong minded. Watching him fall apart like that was saddening.

“No, this is my fault, I caused his pain indirectly. Fuck, I’m going to throw up again.” Kevin said as he crawled to the nearest stall and threw up the small remainder of what was left in his stomach. His throat hurt from the acidic burn and his mouth tasted putrid.

“Today fucking sucks, Rolf.” He said as he stood up with Rolf following his lead.

 He looked at himself in the mirror, his hair was a mess, his eyes were puffy and red as his cheeks, and his shirt was wrinkled.

“No doubts.” Rolf said as he patted Kevin’s shoulder.

Going to class was a lost cause, Kevin wouldn’t be able to concentrate anyhow. So he and Rolf stayed outside of class for the rest of the day. Rolf didn’t want to leave his friend alone so he sat with him behind the school, waiting together for the school day to end in order to go to football practice and home, eventually. Kevin couldn’t wait to get home already, ha wanted to be alone.

As they sat together and the hours passed, Kevin could feel his phone vibrating in his pants pocket, however he had no physical nor emotional strength to speak to anyone at those moments of uncertainty. His mind filled with self-loathing thoughts, he started hating everything he was at the moment he realized he let himself become this monstrous being that hurt innocent kids around him.

It has been years of him acting all high and mighty in school; he was so popular and loved, no one ever dared to object to a thing he said or done. Everyone approved his behavior towards them as if it was a given, like he had some power over them merely for being a good looking jock.

Nevertheless, Kevin never believed he had any real power over another person or that he can hurt someone with his casual insults, he had insecurities and problems as any other kid his age. Being in the spotlight of high school social life was terrifying at times, Kevin was constantly judged by his surroundings for his behavior and appearance so he had to toughen up.

He couldn’t be nice, right? Nice people are considered weak, they get approached and picked on for their weaknesses.

He couldn’t be weak at school, it was the only place he got respected… life at home sucked. Between his parent’s fights and his father’s drinking and verbal abuse, he felt lonely and out of control. He was appraise by his father only for his athletic achievements and tough demeanor, as if those were the most important thing in life.

Kevin wasn’t stupid, he knew that there were things more significant than those, he actually wanted to do something with his life other than to be a famous football player. Sure, he enjoyed physical activity and looking the way he did, yet he never wanted to be perceived only as that.

He wanted to be more than what people thought he was, more than a typical jock. But a typical joke he became, he was mean to kids who couldn’t defend themselves and joked about their insecurities like it was some type of a funny ordeal. It wasn’t funny, it wasn’t cute… his peers were getting seriously hurt.

Kevin felt so disgusted of what happened to Eddward and how he caused it by his behavior, that he literally felt sick to his stomach. He wanted to throw up but there was nothing left. Nothing left to do…

“Kevin!”

“What?” Said Kevin as he snapped out of his introspection at once.

“If we don’t move ourselves now, we _will_ be late to practice again.” Rolf said in an annoyed tone. Kevin got up from the bench they were sitting on and followed Rolf to the school field.

After getting changed and meeting up with his teammates, who included _Chad_ and his friend, which in turn caused him to feel with adrenaline and energy.

He wanted to hurt them so much for everything they had done and for everything they were for. In his mind, ‘Evil’, ‘Iniquity’, and ‘Cruelty’ now had faces.

As the large amount of students finished running laps and stretching, coach divided the group containing the team and the ones to tryout in to two team who played against each other.

Luckily for Kevin, the guys who hurt Edd weren’t in his team at the moment, so he mercilessly tackled each of them for the next hour. Kevin didn’t even try to win the game, he just wanted to hurt them really, really bad.

…

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey guys!
> 
> I wanted to let the MariexEdd fans know that they will be paired for some time in this story, I even updated the summery. Furthermore, I just adore R!Edd paired with Nat…so, there’s that ;)
> 
>  
> 
> Pending smut ought to be so yummy.


	7. Misfits

 

_ Enjoy. _

It’s been a week into the school year when Marie finally had the time to go and visit Eddward in the hospital. However, when she arrived at a late afternoon hour, she was surprised to find the room lacking a certain Sockhead.

Sitting on the chair near the messy hospital bed, she picked up her phone and called Edd, only to find his phone ringing on a small bed side table.

After ten minutes of waiting, Marie got bored of the music playlist that was playing out of her phone. So, she pulled the earbuds out, paused the melody and walked around the room in order to find something interesting to do. Honestly? She was snooping.

Whilst snooping around, she heard someone nearing the room. Edd was cursing his mouth off in a grouchy undertone.

“ _Fucking halfwit nurse…Doctor… Demented assface fucker… Makes me wanna shove his stupid cum deflectors deep down his cock pocket … Fucking asshat…”_

Some uncoherent words continued to escape his mouth as he walked in the room and locked eyes with Marie. To say that Marie was shocked by the short rant would be an understatement.

They stood there, Marie near his bed and Edd by the door, looking at each other for a few seconds before Marie grinned and said “Color me fucking impressed. Never would I guess innocent little Double D had _this_ type of a wide vocabulary.”

Edd looked away and sheepishly tried to retort “Um…I am…”

“Definitely _not_ what you portray to be.” Marie finished for him, with a raised eyebrow.

His eyes finally met hers and a small smile appeared to tug his lips upwards.

“I like the real you better.” She said while shrugging and turned around towards the chair. “How other people can’t see through your act is beyond me.”

“Some people are as sharp as a marble.” He said with a smirk and moved to sit on his bed. He sighs at the delight of losing the crutches as he sits down.

 For the past two weeks Eddward suffered for at least three hours a day in physiotherapy. Learning how to walk properly again on his unused busted legs was excruciating at times. He was getting better at the whole walking ordeal, but the pain was numbing, and everyone kept pushing him to work on his leg muscles and he just couldn’t take it anymore.

Eddward hated being this weak, it angered him to know he can’t support his own little body on his own two legs. True, he never was athletic or even remotely strong, but this was beyond what his consciousness can grasp. Feelings like anger and frustration were consuming him entirely.

“How have you been?” Marie asks.

“I will survive…”

Marie looked straight at him.

 “~ _Oh as long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive…I've got all my life to live, I've got all my love to give. And I'll survive! I will survive!_ ~” she finished singing Gloria Gaynor’s song standing tall (-ish) with her arms at her waist, like a super hero looking at the horizon.

In a matter of moments the room was filled with the sounds of laughter.

After calming down, Edd asked Marie “So… How was school?”

“Boring.” She responded quickly. “Though, two days ago while I was sitting alone at lunch, Nazz came sitting down next to me and ranted, mainly to herself, how she will never be back together with Kevin. Which was weird considering we are not friends and never really talked that much.”

“Huh...”

“Yeah… We spent recess together for the past few days.”

“Doesn’t sound that boring to me.” Edd said with a questioning arched brow.

“It was mainly her talking and I sitting there and getting hugs from her in between… it was weird, people glared at us… a misfit and a cheerleader.” She said with a rosy tint to her cheeks.

“You like her?”

“I don’t… S-she was just venting out to the closest person…”

“That was not what I asked.” He said with a knowing grin.

“Umm…” She blurted wide eyed to him.

“So!” He said while turning around to face her, sitting on the bed cross legged, “What’s the game plan for getting you a cute blonde?”

“I do not have an idea…” She said scratching her head. “FYI, it’s also weird as fuck talking to you about this... Sometimes, you’re still this little innocent eleven year cutie in my mind.”

“I’m older and taller than you.” He said, adding before she responded “Though, almost everyone is taller than you, so I’m not sure if claiming _that_ is in my favor.”

“Jerk.” She spat.

“Moi?” He said, innocently looking, in French.

“Vous pouvez aller sucer une bite.”* She said with a cute smile.

“Oh mon Dieu! You wouldn’t have one on hand, now would you?” He smirked.

“Good thing we’re in a hospital, because I am going to kill you.” She said before jumping on top of the bed to tickle him.

“I’m going to piss my pants! Stop!” he said while laughing manically.

Calming down, they both set with their backs to the wall at the head of the bed, shoulder to shoulder. Marie looked away from Edd and said quietly “She’s probably not into girls though…”

“You don’t know that. She might be a raging lesbo waiting to unleash her hands all over your cute butt and carpet clean you with her kisser. She is probably wondering if the carpet matches the drapes _as we speak_.”

“I don’t…It’s…” she stuttered while her face turned bright red, and at that, Edd started laughing.

“She’s probably master planning a strategy to hug you all over next time she sees you!”

“I think we’re on the wrong floor, ‘cause clearly you are insane.” Edd just laughed louder at that. “Should I hurry my mom over here to calm you down?” she said, annoyed. “I’m not sure I like you anymore.”

“What?! No!!!!!” He acted as he was terribly hurt by that.

“You can go suck a fuck.”

He turned to look her straight in the eye and said “ _Oh, please, tell me Elizabeth, how exactly does one suck a fuck?_ ”**

“Movie freak.” She said with a grin.

…

Sitting in his regular sit at the back of the class, Kevin was exhausted. He barley slept for the past few days, spending the nights watching movies to put his mind away from the overwhelming feeling he had been feeling.

Today, thought, was the cherry on the top. Nazz finally broke up with Kevin, which wasn't a surprise to him considering he was an apathetic jerk to her. He couldn't even manage to answer simple questions.

In addition, for some peculiar reason, Nazz was spending the past few days with Marie Kanker. Nazz, being Kevin's best friend, never even mentioned being friends with Marie. So naturally, he felt like she was yet another person he didn't really know and their supposed friendship was a merely joke.

He couldn't help but to feel all alone, especially now, as he sits alone at lunch.

Kevin set at a corner table, moving food around in his plate, until a teal haired boy set next to him and draws his attention away from the messy plate.

“Hey, you're the Barr dude. Man, if I didn't know better, I'd think coach gets off yelling at you.” He said with a grin.

Kevin now recognized the kid as a new player for their schools football team, “It's Kevin.” He said.

“Well, Kevin, I'm Goldberg. Nathan Goldberg." He deadpanned Kevin with a serious look. “Nat” he added cheerfully.

“I know. Coach yells at you almost as much as he yells at me.” Kevin said with a less than impressed tone and expression.

“To my defense, I don't try to beat everyone's ass into the curb as you do. Though I wouldn't mind getting close to some of those, if you know what I mean.” Nat said, wiggling his eyebrows.

 _Man, this kid is weird,_ Kevin thought. “Meh” he said with a shrug, continuing to move his food around, not meeting Nat's eyes.

“Meh?” Nat questioned with a comically tilted head.

“Meh at best.”

“So, you saying me grumpy pants checked out the teams butt menu?” Nat asked with a smirk, and at that, Kevin snapped out of his food fumbling with a slight panicked look to him.

Shaking his head, "What! No! I'm not... I didn't even...” But he was interrupted by Nat.

“And FYI, I'm on the team now, and my butt is fucking spectacular! Thank you very much.”

“Can I just eat my food before the lunch break is over?” Kevin said, feeling quite uncomfortable.

“Yeah... Do you need help with that? You don't seem to do the greatest job. ”

“Do you usually sit down next to random football players and talk about butts?” Kevin asked, humored by the idea.

“Yep. This school has some fine ass.” Nat said, looking around and adding “I mean, look at theirs. Yumm!” He said motioning with his head towards a blonde and a bluenette, and winked at them, earning a glare from the later.

“That's my best frie... Ex girl... I don't even know” Kevin sounded defeated.

“The mean looking one? Sure suits ya.”

Not quite getting who Nat means, at this point everyone looks malicious to Kevin. “The blonde.”

“She's cute, too” Nat says with a shrug.

 _He thinks Marie is cute?_ Kevin never thought of the Kankers to be appealing. But if he was honest with himself, while Nazz was pretty, with her blonde hair, bright smile and lean tall body, Marie, walking next to her, with the long blue hair, thick lashes, dark sultry eyes and plump body, Marie was definitely sexier, while her friend was rather plain. _Too bad she's a complete jerk._

“You're staring.” Nat noted, snapping Kevin out of his pondering.

“Am not.” Kevin's retorted.

“Yeah, right.”

“Fuck you, _Goldberg_.” Kevin said, getting annoyed by the mouthy teal haired teen.

“Grumpy and aggressive... Not really my type.” Nat said with a finger to his chin as he looked far, looking thoughtful, “Who am I kidding, you look fun.” He said with a smirk while placing his chin to his hands with his elbows on the table, “And extremely easily embarrassed.” He added with a sly grin.

“Uh, just shut up.” Kevin said with a pink tinge covering the tops of his cheeks. He slumped down on the bench with his back against the wall and arms crossed.

“ _'Shut up'?_ What is this _'Shut up'_ you are speaking of? I do not know such thing.” Nat said with much innocence.

Kevin opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by the bell, signaling the end of the lunch break.

“Wanna go grab a smoke before class?” Nat asked.

“Hmh...” Kevin nodded.

While walking behind a building, Kevin thought that for the duration of the lunch break, he wasn't completely depressed. Nat proved to be quite the distraction, plus, he didn't know what a jackass Kevin used to be. A fresh start is what Kevin needed.

The rest of the day went by quickly for Kevin, spending the recesses with his new friend, which apparently just moved to Peach Creek from California, or New York... Or Amsterdam, or somewhere cooler than Peach Creek. Long story short, Nat was new in town, rich and well-travelled, which made Kevin a bit envious.

At three o'clock, he and Nat parted ways when he went home while Nat had to stay for detention, _on the first week of school._ Kevin was pretty sure Nat was the only one there, besides the oldest teacher in school, watching over him through thick purple rimmed glasses.

“"See you tomorrow, enjoy your date!” Kevin yelled as he rode down the street on his motorbike.

…

Hearing the loud bike nearing, a certain short blonde grimaced, “Fucking Shovelchin.” He muttered under his breath.

“Hey, Eddy, why do we hate Kevin so much?” Ed asked innocently, he definitely didn't expect Eddy to yell at him his response.

“Cause his a self-righteous, annoying, dense jock!”

“Oh... Right, right...” Ed said, and then looked deep in thought, concentrating. "Hey, Eddy?”

“ _What_ , monobrow?” Eddy all but screamed as they entered Ed's house.

“Kevin seemed to care about what happened to Double D... I think you were wrong.”

Huffing a puff of air, Eddy tried to calm himself and said, “Ed, listen carefully, for the last time. We were his only friends, no one cares about him, but us. Not even his folks... Especially not them...” He shook his head.

“Why can't we be all friends again, Eddy? I miss him so much, Eddy!” And Ed looked so sad to Eddy, making all his aggressive demeanor melt away.

Ed was such a gentle giant. Being so big and intimidating, a lot of times even Eddy forgot how easily Ed got hurt, masking his pain with stupidity.

“Look, Ed.” Eddy said while he placed a hand on Ed's shoulder, “Double D doesn't like us anymore, and for good reasons, too. We don't enjoy the same stuff anymore and every time we hang out together it feels like an obligation 'cause we are the 'Eds', ya know? Eddward's going to do stuff with his life, things better than to sell weed to random people. If he knew what we do he'll be so disappointed...” Eddy looked away from Ed’s face. “Anyway... Don't you see how he acts around us? He gets annoyed by everything we say and just sits there, waiting 'till we're done with him and he can leave. We can't force someone to like us.” Eddy finished with a sad smile.

“Yeah, I know... I still miss him. I feel like a part of me is gone with him... Like when in Zombie's Last Call, when the little Trinquites hung the...” Ed started to ramble.

“I miss him too.” Eddy said, and for some strange reason, he completely understood what Ed tried to say. Edd was Eddy's best friend for years, he was his voice of reason and the one who kept his life in order. Now, no matter how much time it took to drift apart from one another, it hurt. Eddy lost his better half, and frankly, he knew it. He knew the things he felt for Eddward were more than brotherly ones, he adored his Sockhead and knew that his feelings would never be reciprocated. So, in order to ease on the pain, he avoided Edd, and when together, his aggressive and defensive side will shine full force in order to push him away. It's easier than to be rejected, Eddy reasoned.

“Now let’s go watch that new movie you wanted to check out.” Said Eddy, in hopes of getting the tall Ed to avert his attention to something less saddening.

…

 

*“Vous pouvez aller sucer une bite.” - “You can go suck a cock.”

** a Donnie Darko reference. _Great_ movie.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	8. Pity Party

 

_ Enjoy. _

__

It was a crisp morning at the last week of September, Ann was walking along the path way leading to the hospital were a certain boy was to celebrate his sixteenth birthday today. It was chilly, Ann thought, regretting the thirty five minute walk and not driving to the hospital instead. Now, she was irritable _and_ cold.

It was about six at the morning, when the Vincents had called her for what she thought was to discuss the schedule of Eddward’s birthday, only to find that they ‘will not be attending it this year’, and that ‘it is not a big deal, he is practically a grown up’. To say she was enraged would be an understatement.

The conversation went rather hastily; Mrs. Vincent went over all the paper work Ann would need in order to discharge Edd from the hospital, the new monthly allowance for Edd, and his study arrangements. No happy birthday, no party or even a visit. Ann was mostly quiet through the entire conversion, being in a state of disbelieve.

Ann would never consider herself an outstanding parent, most of her life until this point were an unstable mass of poor decisions, she believed. But they… _they_ were just unbelievable. After every talk, she was astonished by their stoic relationship with their son. It was like he was a stranger they took in and spent copious amounts of money on, as he portrayed to be the perfect son. The perfect charity case. And as that, he should be grateful for their minimal attention and financial stability, as if it was equivalent to love.

Ann was so angry and disgust, that she could not manage to drive the pricey family Jeep to work, where her nurse friends would praise her for the amazing job she was able to get, and how lucky she is to work for such great people. Yes, she _was_ immensely grateful for this position and all the benefits around it, but working for _them_ and contributing and legitimizing their relationship with their son, as if it was remotely normal, was shameful to her. At this point she could say, whole heartily, that she loved Edd as if he was her own son.

It was about eight when she walked in to Edd’s room, to find him still asleep. She sat down on the arm chair and checked her phone for any calls from her girls, they are to be at school in an hour.

Looking at the sleepy boy, she thought how to tell him his parents will miss his birthday, yet again, apparently. Fortunately, she won’t have to dwell on that for long, since he was stirring and inevitably about to wake up. 

“Hey.” He sayd softly.

Putting a smile on her face, she looks at his sleepy face that is still stuck to the pillow, with one eye still closed, “Good morning birthday boy! How’d you sleep?” she says cheerfully as she lets out a breath she had no idea she was holding.

“Oh…” was his response. No smile, only a faraway look, wordlessly saying ‘I know what’s to come’. That broke her heart. She wanted to look away, as if he would see right through her the moment he looks up to meet her eyes, like maybe he is an old man with the weight of the world on his shoulders, facing the world completely alone. But before she could mull on that thought, he puts on his happy mask.

“I slept adequately. Thank you, Ann.” He says with a smile, but his eyes won’t cooperate the happiness his mouth is trying to portray.

Taking a deep breath, Ann says “That’s wonderful, dear. Now, get ready, we are going out for breakfast and a small walk, as per doc’s orders, and then…” She dramatically pauses, “I am out to go sort the paperwork out, and I can assure you, tonight, you’ll sleep at your own bed!”

“What!” He pracrically jumps out of the bed, “Really?”

“Yes, your parents called this morning.”

“Oh…” He then sits down calmly, returning to his usual demeanor. “And I am to assume they will not grace us weak earthlings with their presence this year, am I correct?” Edd looks her straight in the eyes.

“Sorry, Edd.” And this time she can’t hold his stare, she turns away as she gets up. “I think you should go wash up, so that we’d have enough time before I’ve got to go.”

“Of course, I wouldn’t want to delay you.” Edd says stoically.

“Marie told me she had a surprise for you after school.” Ann said as she turned to him with a small grin.

“Oh.” He mutters questionably, as he walks to the adjacent bathroom.

As he gets ready in the bathroom, Edd can’t help but to think about his parents and his birthday. Since he was a child, he hated this day. Every year he ended up crying quietly in his room for this reason or the other. Sometimes it was because his parents forgot or didn’t make plans, some years it was because not a single friend remembered, one year his parents did throw him a party, clown and everything. Not a single person had arrived, not one. Not even his relatives.

This day, of all 365, was reserved for crying. But for some reason, this year, Edd had no tears to cry. When he stood under the calming warm spray of water, his mind and body went numb. He simply did not care anymore, there was nothing left to do or to feel. And as to meeting up with Marie later? He did not get his hopes up.

After a pleasant breakfast, Eddward and Ann did end up taking a walk in the park near the hospital. There was not a whole lot of talking that morning, though Ann did promise that after Marie’s surprise they’ll go out for dinner in whatever restaurant Edd wants, eat cake and all.

When Edd returned to his room alone, his legs felt a bit sore from the walking without the crutches for this long. He couldn’t help but to chuckle to himself because of the whole birthday ordeal. He felt so pathetic it was starting to get amusing.

Eddward was about to spend his birthday with an employee of his uncaring parents, only to end up at his empty house later tonight. _The house must be at a horrendous condition by now, the filth must be inches thick._ He thought, which made him shiver in disgust.

…

Later that day, at 02:45 p.m., to be exact, Marie walked through the pale blue door of Edd’s room and grinned towards the unsuspecting teen. “Sup, wonder boy?”

“Hello, Marie. How are you?” Edd asked lazily, he was in no mood to actually talk or hold an intelligent conversation, yet his politeness still shone through.

“I’m fabulous. Now get dressed.” She demanded.

“Excuse you?”

“You heard me, birthday hat. We’re leaving this shit-hole, to do something fun.” She smirked.

“And by ‘Fun’, you mean…?”

“It’s a surprise. Now shut it and lets go, the taxi will be here in ten.” She said as she walked out of the room to let Edd have his privacy.

Not thinking he had something to lose, he promptly got dressed and walked out the door to meet her.

After a short ride, they were up front of the main bright red doors. “Are you kidding me, Marie? Because I am not amused by this.”

“C’mon D, it’d be fun.” She said while nudging him forward.

“I don’t even own swimming apparel, let alone am in a position of it right here at this moment.”

“Got you all covered.” Marie said as she pulled a pair of brand new swimming trunks out of a plastic baggie she pulled out of her backpack. “Like, not completely covered, that’d be weird, considering were about to go swimming in a pool.”

“A public pool, no less. Do you have any idea how often they replace the water in such establishments?”

“I’ve got a guess. You, however, will suck it up, get dressed and have fun.” She said as she finally pushed him through the shining doors. “I’m going to pay for entrance, wait here.”

“I don’t want you spending money on me…” Edd said honestly, he felt like the biggest burden right now.

Watching him for a few moments quietly, thinking. Finally, she said confidently, “I am here because I want to go swim myself, but my so to speak ‘friends’ suck. So, I took you, a normal human being to have fun with me instead. You having fun and actually moving around freely and painlessly in the water is an added bonus. I am going to pay because I took you here and it is your fucking birthday.” She said decisively while taking a step closer to him, “Now, I am going to pay the fee, you are going to get dressed and we’ll meet by the changing rooms when I’m done. Was that clear enough for you, Brainiac?” she said with a lifted eyebrow, a pretty agitated look to her face and crossed arms.

“Every six months. They change it every six months.”

“I am going to hit you publically, ass-hole.” She said as she got on her tiptoes to match Edd’s height, poking her finger at him.

Taking a step back, he pulled his hands up defensively. Marie just rolled her eyes and turned to pay.

After paying and splitting each to go change, a realization dawned upon Edd’s mind. _I’d have to be ridden of any head attire in order to get into the pool._ That thought made him freeze entirely.

“Hey Sockhead! What’s up in there!? I’ve been ready for like five minutes already! Get out!” Marie yelled at the top of her lungs, earning a few stares from random people around the sheltered pool.

Snapping out of himself, he realized he didn’t even change. Promptly, Edd replaced his cotton clothes with just the swimming trunks, leaving his hat at the top of his head.

Walking out of the changing room, he spotted Marie leaning on the wall near where they split up. “Sorry…” He said, not meeting her eyes. Instead, he looked at what she wore.

Marie wore a navy blue full bathing suit, which hugged her body perfectly. Edd could see the curve of her small breasts, the way the outline of her pear shaped plump body got lost waist down beneath a semi sheer, black, beach cover up. Edd wasn’t up to date with what other teens their age wore, but he was sure that girls usually never wore such covering swimming wear. In general, it was two piece bikinis, certainly not a bathing suit, _with_ a cover up.

“Save it for someone who cares!” Marie snapped at him, clearly agitated.

“Sorry. Um… where do I put my clothes?” Edd asked shyly.

“Uh! Just give ‘em to me.” Marie said, opening her backpack. Edd placed his clothes inside, but she still held the bag open to him, looking at him like he was a dumb child. “Your hat?” She asked slowly, like he indeed was a slow kid.

Looking at her like a deer caught in the headlights. “I…”

“Fine! Whatever, be stupid like that.” And with that, she zipped her bag and walked away from him towards the seats.

Marie threw her bag quite forcefully, moving the plastic seat a bit, turned for the deep end of the pool and jumped. Cover up and everything. _That’s puzzling,_ Edd thought.

He sat by the edge of the pull, letting his legs get used to the temperature. Edd looked around, he could see quite a bit of children with their parents having fun, smiling.

“What’cha thinkin’ ‘bout?” Marie asked. Only then did Eddward notice she have been near him the whole time, looking at him from below.

“Your poor grammar.” He said with a smirk.

Marie smirked right back, placing her hand below the water around Edd’s ankle and yanking him down into the water.

“Having fun yet, Double D? ‘Cause I am.” She said grinning. But her grin left her face as soon as Edd got up above the water. Hatless.

She was plain out staring at him while his face contorted to a scowl “What the fuck Marie!” He yelled, not realizing yet that his hat was not on the top of his head.

Edd stood, water lining up with his waist. He hugged himself while trying to get used to the temperature. His brown hair stuck to the sides of his face, the left side had an additional whitish-blonde hair, which almost blended with his ivory skin.

His hat was just now floating above the water, near Marie’s arm. When his attention was finally drawn to the black object, only then did he realized what it was. Placing a hand on his head, he indeed felt his hair, not his head. Eyes wide open, he stared at the floating object.

“Double D? Did I break you?” She said, handing him his hat. He didn’t take it, he didn’t even move. “Hello?”

Letting out a sigh, she said “Your hair looks pretty cool, Fyi.”

He was still just blinking at her.

“I’m going to hang this on the back of the seat, so it will dry a bit, okay?”

Edd just nodded, still wide eyed.

“Just don’t cry, okay?!” she said with a gruff. “Sheesh, it’s just fucking hair.” She said as she climbed the ladder out of the pool. “Mine’s fucking blue!”

When she returned by Edd’s side, she asked “You okay? Sorry if I’m screwing up your birthday, I really didn’t mean to.” She said honestly.

“I’m fine…” He said.

“Wanna swim a bit? You’ve been standing there this whole time.”

“Uh, yeah sure.” He said, sinking a bit in order to get used to the water, again. Marie already swam away from him, on her back, looking at Edd to join her.

If he was completely honest, Edd would say it did hurt a bit to swim. The resistance of the water made his aching legs work to move around quite a lot.  However, when he stopped to float, it was like he was floating in the sky, on a cloud. His ears filled with water, dirty water, which he knew was bed for him, but all the noise was muffled and he felt like he was all alone in the water. When he closed his eyes, he relaxed on a level he didn’t knew he was able to. Edd did not expect to enjoy this as much as he did.

“I thought you’d like it.” Marie said near him, making him open his eyes to look at her and stand up right in front of her.

“I did, thank you.” Eddward said with a genuine smile.

“Plus, it’s like a work out, so essentially, you didn’t really miss physiotherapy today.” She said with a smirk.

“Oh. I forget about that.”

“It _is_ your birthday, I’m sure no one’s gonna hold it against you.”

“I’m not so sure.” He laughed.

“C’mon, we’ve been here for like three hours. We need to get going if we don’t want mom to have a freak out from us not being ready to go out to eat in time.”

“I forgot about that, too.” _This swim really relaxed me, though._

Shaking her head, she headed for the ladder. “I’m all pruney, bah!” She said as she climbed it.

“That makes two of us.”

…

After Eddward and Marie took separate taxis to get home (and to the hospital), in order to get washed up and dress, they decided to meet up at the gates of the main building, where Ann and Marie waited to Edd in the car.

After a brief drive to a Mexican restaurant, the triad was seated at a corner table. They conversed about various subjects, such as studies, learning how to drive, clothes shopping, and resolutions for the next year. Over all, Edd was having a pleasant time with his newfound best friend and her mom. A mom that was more of a mother to him these past few months than his own ever was.

When they were done with their food and their table has been decluttered, a tall waiter approached them with a party hat on his head and a bright smile on his face. “Who’s the birthday boy?” the teen waiter asked, looking straight to Eddward.

“He is! He is!” Ann yelped. At that point she looked like a child, with her young looking exterior, petite body and high pitch.  

Marie almost burst out laughing then and there because of her mother’s antics.

“And how old are you, if I may ask?” The black haired waiter asked Edd.

“I’m sixteen, yippy…” Edd said sarcastically. Even the waiter could tell that Eddward felt uncomfortable with the attention, if the blush on his cheeks wasn’t a giveaway.

The waiter placed the cake on the table, lighting the candles on top, “Yippy indeed, that’s our best cake. Three layers of white, milk and semi-sweet chocolate with dark chocolate ganache on top.” The waiter said to Edd. He placed his hand on Edd’s shoulder and said with a smirk “Though, it’s probably not the most delicious thing around here, birthday boy.” He winked and walked away, leaving Eddward dumbfounded.

“Holy mother fucking shit, did that really just happened?” Marie said, shocked.

“Marie! Language!” Ann scolded.

“Sorry, but did you saw what I just did?” Marie asked her mom, wide eyed.

Ann looked at Eddward’s tomato shaded face, and had to hold herself from laughing. “Does that happen a lot?” She questioned.

And as if on cue, Marie burst out laughing.

“Just blow out your candles before our cake will be wax flavored.” Said Ann.

“Of course.” Edd said, blowing all the candles at once.

“Did you even wished for something?” Marie asked.

“Sure.” Edd lied.

“Lier.” Marie shook her head.

“Whatever…” Edd looked away.

“Now open your gift.” Marie said as she handed Edd a rectangular rapped object. It was clearly a book.

“You didn’t have to buy me that…” He said lowly.

“Again with that? I’mma do the hell I want to, Double D.” Marie said.

“Marie.” Ann warned.

Edd ripped the wrapping paper methodically, not to create a mess. The title read ‘Portrait of a Killer, Jack the Ripper, Case Closed’ by Patricia Cornwell. “I was pretty sure you never read that, I think you’ll like it.” Marie said/asked.

“I am. Thank you, Marie.” Edd smiled. _I think she’s starting to know the real me, and she doesn’t seem fazed._

“Hey mom, can I stay with Double D in the hospital after we’re done? Lee could pick me up when she’s on her way home.”

“You can’t invite yourself to stay with Eddward, Sweetie.” Ann said with an apologetic smile towards Edd.

“He’s alone and bored out of his mind all day, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t mind. Right D?”

“No, of course not. I enjoy Marie’s company.” Edd said to Ann.

“I don’t mind, then.” Ann responded.

…

Later that evening.

“Sorry you won’t get to go home for a few more days.”

“It’s not your fault, Marie. Bureaucracy is a bitch.” Edd said matter of factly.

“I know, but my mom got you all excited for nothing… Sorry about that. She sometimes gets…” Marie didn’t finish her sentence, since Eddward interrupted her.

“It’s fine.” He pressed. The response he got from Marie was knowing look. “Anyway…Thank you for the book, again. I’ve never read such literature. Or biography? Though I did always find serial killers fascinating.”

“Really? I wouldn’t have guessed.” She said grinning, “Just thought there was a slim chance you read it, since you probably read every other book known to men kind.”

“Bullshit.” Edd whispered.

“Maybe, Maybe not.” She said, tilting her head from side to side with a grin. “So, this was a fine birthday, if I do say so myself. Wouldn’t you agree? Since you did get to spend it with me, of all people.”

A ringing sound coming from Edd’s pocket interrupted his train of thought. He pulled his phone, voicing “Huh…”

“What is it?”

“Eddy just texted me a happy birthday text.”

“Isn’t that a bit ‘too little too late’ of him?” Marie said, questionably. She knew Edd had basically cut all connections from the other Eds, yet he never told her why. She never pressed the matter, assuming he’ll tell her if it was of importance.

“Don’t know, don’t care.” Edd said with furrowed brows.

“Just tell me this, do we hate him?”

“Not really…”

“Got you.” Marie said with a nod.

 _Marie is so good at reading between the lines, it’s scary._ Edd thought, _or maybe she’s just reading my mind... It’s plausible, I guess?_ Shaking his head, _too many sci-fi movies for me, then._

…

A few hours earlier, at a different part of town.

“What are you giggling about?”

“Nothing. Well, Marie just texted me she got home. She said she and Edd had a fun time at the pool.” Nazz said as she pocketed her phone.

“Huh… He’s all fine and healed, then?” Kevin asked nonchalantly, not meeting her eyes.

“No… She told me he has a lot of physiotherapy to go through, like a year of it, or something. Poor Double D…”

“Ehm…”

“I can’t believe you just told me about it a few days ago, though! I was hanging out with those psychos for a month!” Nazz said as she kicked Kevin from hir swivel seat, making him fall off his bed.

“Ouch, Nazz!” Kevin yelled as he got up of the floor, dusting himself of imaginary dust. “Are you bionic or some shit? That fucking hurt, dude.” Sitting on his bed yet again he said, “Well you were the one not speaking to me in the first place.”

“Not my fault you drive me crazy sometimes.” She shrugged.

“Whatever, dude. So, do you wanna go out with me and Nat to the movies tomorrow or not?”

“Nah, me and Marie planed going out to buy clothes. Well, I kind of. I dragged her, but you get my point.”

“You’re always with her, can’t you ditch her?” Kevin said annoyed, it was the fifth time that week Nazz couldn’t hang out.

“No, I can’t. She’s a lot at the hospital with Edd and we get to do stuff only in between. When we’re out, the only thing she seems to think about is how Edd is all alone. I tried to offer that I’ll come with her, but she think he wouldn’t like that. I don’t get it though, he was always so happy around the other Ed’s, what changed?”

“Well, the other two are complete idiots, for starters. Duh.” Kevin grinned, yet felt a pang on the inside whenever the subject of Edd was mentioned. He never told Nazz about his breakdown.

“They’re not _that_ bad, Kev.” She smiled a knowing smile.

“Yeah, right. Dorko basically sent his best friend to go fuck himself after those fucks almost killed him. Who does that?” Kevin said loudly. He was starting to get upset yet again because of the nerdy Edd, he was getting annoyed at himself for that, too.

“I don’t know… Maybe they weren’t that close, as we all assumed.”

“I don’t know either, I don’t care. Different topic?” Kevin laid down on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

“Um… How are your parents?”

“Really Nazz? Are you trying to get me depressed?” Kevin said, flipping and burring himself in his pillow.

“Sorry, dude. Your dad is still sleeping in that hotel?” she said while placing her hand on his arm.

“Yeah…” Kevin whispered, not lifting his head of the pillow.

“It will sort itself out, eventually.” Nazz tried to reassure him.

“I’m tired.” Kevin said, not really referring to his physical state.

“I’ll leave you to yourself then, talk to you tomorrow?” She said, standing up.

“Thanks.” Kevin said with a cracked voice, still face buried deep in his pillow.

“Bye.” And with that, Nazz left his room and let herself out the front door.

…

A few houses next to Kevin’s, one short Ed was practically at the same position as Kevin. Face buried deep in his own pillow.

 _Did he really reduce me to this emotional mess?_ Eddy thought as he sniffed his running nose.

It was hours since he kicked Ed out, the moment the tall Ed mentioned it was Double D’s birthday. He fell to his bed and reached for his iPod.

But as all high school dramas, the moment he turned the music on, all the sad songs suddenly related to him and made him feel even worst.

Eddy eventually fell asleep to the sounds of ‘Don’t Speak’ by No Doubt. He’s been listening to that particular song in loops for the last hour of his consciousness.

…

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> And just an Fyi, there will be about two more chapters concluding Edd’s and the guys sophomore year.


	9. Home Sweet Home

_ Enjoy. _

 

A hard sigh was made.

“What was that?” Ann asked.

“We're done.” Eddward said as he plummeted towards the freshly vacuumed couch.

“I told you it wasn't that bad, now didn't I?” She asked, putting the last of cleaning supplies in a dedicated closet. 

“You and I have quite the heterogeneous assumptions as to in what shape my house was in. Nonetheless, I'm content to know that we, at this point in time, have a shared understanding of the meaning _clean_." Edd said as he remembered the filthy condition his accommodation was.

…

_About seven hours earlier._

“It's okay, Edd. Just breathe!” Ann nearly shouted at the boy retreating backwards with wide eyes in an alarming rate.

“No. Nope. Cannot handle.” Edd tried to speak as clearly as he could, though his hyperventilating caused his speech to become labored and incomprehensible, for the best part.

It's been approximately a quester past one o'clock, when they arrived to Eddward's house at the all too familiar cul-de-sac, after finally being discharged from the hospital. The belated discharge was long overdue, by everyone's account.

 Now, over a week after his oh so sweet sixteenth birthday, Edd thought he'd be overjoyed to step in his beloved home. But, as to where assumptions go, we don't always get what we want.

 As he walked through the grey door, leading rom the usually unused garage to his living room, he felt like the floor left his feet and himself is plummeting through the earth's crust into what smells to be the depths of hell. It smelt musty and dusty, and overall repulsive to the beanie wearing teen.

For the past few months, Edd's home was a Mecca to him. He'd dream about it at night, and wished the nightmare of a residence in the hospital will cease as soon as possible. Still, he managed to survive on the sheer faith he will be returning to his immaculate and beloved home. But to his horror, he was met with a grimy house with such foul smell he had to reverse his steps.

All visions to return to normal were shattered. His house was not the same as he left it that sunny morning about five months ago. He was not the same person returning to the same house, the house was different. _Of course the house is different_ , Edd thought to himself as he backed out of it. Looking around, everything was covered with a thick layer of dust, the white couch turned grey, filth covered the floors, a cockroach laid dead at the middle of the floor, and every single plant he cared about was dead _, for months probably. I haven't been here for months. That actually happened and now everything is **dead**. _

The realization of all of it came crushing upon him like a ton of inflamed bricks, thrown at him from a catapult, at 240 mph. All the anxiety he put on a low burner for the past few months erupted in a magnificent flame, burning down all sense of psychological stability he thought he had.

And as if a switch clicked or a fuse simply burned, the minute Edd's back met the garage wall, everything went numb. A white sound engulfed all of his senses to a halting stop.

 _This happened_ , his mined screamed at him. And as if by Que., every event he went through in the last summer had played in his consciousness in fast forward. The beating, the pain, waking up alone at the hospital, his friends' attitude, his parents, the pain, Ann, Marie, the birthday 'party', the pain _. So much pain_. And now, when you'd think all the pain and suffering to be over, some more is introduced to our young hero.

That made him chuckle, a sound which puzzled himself as well.

“Edd?” Ann questioned, placing a hand on his shoulder. Edd immediately snapped his eyes open and glared at her, furrowing his eyebrows at her touch.

With a dark look to his usually content looking pale blue eyes, he no less then growled her way “At the fucking flesh.” Shaking her hand off of his shoulder, he walked passed her to the door and said "Let's get this over with."

 

 

And all through the internal commotion, he _almost_ missed the baffled redhead standing at his front door, across the street. _Almost._

…


	10. The New Normal

_ Enjoy. _

 

 

As Marie walked down the street from school, the realization dawned on her, _I'm spending more time at D’s than at home…_

_…_

As the past months flew by, Marie found herself spending more and more time with Edd.

 First, when Edd was just released from the hospital, her mom stayed with him in order to help him to readjust to living at home again. So Marie would come to Edd’s house to eat with him dinner and to hang out for a bit before going home. This sucked in Marie’s opinion, because she wanted to hang out with her best friend, but her mom being there sucked all of the fun (and mischief) out of it.

 Over the following weeks, Ann would mainly cook for Edd and drive him to and from his checkups and physical therapy. Ann was reluctant to leaving him entirely alone, so she would pop in his house randomly, to check up on him. Soon, as in a week into the new arrangement, Edd made _everyone_ clear that he, in no way, needs a baby sitter. So, just like that, other than driving him around, he refused to get any help from Ann. He hated the thought of being dependent on someone else.

This suited Marie just perfect, because now she practically lived there. She most days came back to Edd's house from school and would be there until her mom will either tell her to come home and do homework or clean her room, or until Edd would leave for one of his checkups, which for the most part were at the mornings, which was pretty cool in her opinion. For her mom to arrange it like that, that is. On the days Edd didn't do anything outside the house nor her mom will pest her to come sleep at home, Marie stayed at Edd's. His guest room, unofficially, became her room. 

Pretty quickly Edd started to learn how to drive, which is where Marie assumed he was when she entered the empty house. Usually, when Edd was home, music could be heard playing. Being it either him playing his guitar, or the one playing from his computer.

Marie took off her shoes and walked to her room to throw her bag on the bed, as usual. It was still pretty cold, for mid-February, so she turned the air conditioned on her way to her room.

After taking off the jacked she was wearing and jeans, Marie put her paint covered Painting Pants on and walked to the little painting station she put up a week or so ago. She was in a middle of painting this beautiful pink-orange sunset with oil paints.

Being home alone didn't suck as much as it used to be. Watching reruns of Friends that always played at this time of day was getting way too boring, she could pretty much dictate their dialogs by heart, by now.

She put her iPhone on the speaker dock and opened the music player app. As Requiem For A Dream started playing, she stared at her new creation, thinking how to improve it. It was almost two days since she last made changes to the painting, so the painting and paint palette were partially dry by now, making new developments difficult to accomplish.

“Still staring at that thing?”

“Crap! D! How long were you standing behind me?!” Marie yelled at the smirking Edd.

“Like five minutes. I'm getting pretty sick of this song looping, too. Just an FYI.”

“You were the one who downloaded it, Double Dipshit.” Marie retorted. _She_ was getting sick of Edd scaring the living shit out of her. “Can you, _please_ , stop spooking me? It's like you're materializing from thin air. It's creepy.”

“Hungry?” He asked as he walked to the kitchen.

“Fucking starving. What are you making me eat today, mhm…?” Marie asked as she paused the music and put down the dried brush, thinking maybe she _is_ done with this painting. _Plus, the house really smells like an oil shop or something._

“What would you like to eat?” He asked.

“It's like you're my wife, how could I miss all of these years of you making me food? That makes me sad.” She said as she skipped towards the kitchen.

“Your _wife? Really Marie?_ ” He asked with a raised brow. “You know what? I'm retracting the question, I'm making fried rice and chicken breast. And _you_ can go fuck yourself.”

“Oh! Double Dipshit, how you wound me.” She said while fanning herself.

“I hate you.” He deadpanned.

“Oh, I know you mean love.” She nudged his shoulder. “Let's watch Requiem For A Dream again, while eating.”

“We _just_ watched that movie a week and a half ago.” He said.

“Your point is?”

“Marie…” Edd sighed. “Can we _not_ get you all depressed today?” He asked the quickly retreating Marie.

Dropping onto the couch,“I've got no idea what you're talking about.~” she sang song.

Leaving the subject at that, Edd turned around and started cooking.

After spending the past six months with the short blue haired girl, Edd got an idea of her personality and certain traits. Whenever he started a conversation about her mental state, she retreated. Whether it was a mental retreat in which she closed off herself and refused to continue any talk, or a physical retreat where she literally walked out the room, sometimes even out of the house to her home, in order to avoid any discussion. It was disheartening.

When the food was done, Edd and Marie took their plates of food to the living room and set down to watch the movie.

As the movie started playing Edd noticed that it wasn't the original movie Marie wanted to watch. “Spider-Man?” He asked.

“Mhm…” She voiced as she started eating. After swallowing she said “Wow, that's tasty as fuck.”

“Obviously.” Edd smirked her way.

“When did you became this little arrogant prick?” Marie asked, grinning.

“Logically, right after puberty hit.”

“I see what you did there, smart ass.” She snorted.

“More like a sweaty ass. Why the fuck am I burning?” He asked while putting down his plate on the wooden table and removing his sweater.

“It was cold?”  The blunette said.

“Are you asking?” Edd asked.

“It was. Definitely.”

“Whatever” He said, shaking his head. “I was so bored today, and was thinking… I think I'm going to join a gym. I barely go out of the house, and when I do, I don't actually move much, so-”

Marie interrupted him, saying “Yes! You do that.”

“Didn't expect you to be this enthusiastic about it.” He chuckled.

“No, I mean yeah, it'd be great for you. Not that I'm not into your cute little bubble butt and glad you aren't as scrawny as you used to be, but getting a bit more muscle on you would be fucking amazing.”

“Did you just called me fat?” He asked with a raised brow.

“Where did you hear _that?_ ”

“It's all your mother’s fault, you know.” He shrugged and took a bite of his chicken.

“Right, right, mister chocolate-is-basically-a-salad…Uh! Talking about fat people, I'm pretty sure Lee is pregnant. Won't she look awfully funny all wobbly and shit?” Marie said, having the largest grin on her face.

“Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that a bad thing?”

“Yeah, yeah, awful. But she might let me take over her weed stash, we'd have so much fun, you and I.” She said dramatically.

“How many times do I need to inform you that I do not wish to take drugs? I had enough of those at the hospital, I felt like I'm floating half the time. It was annoying.”

“Only you can take the fun outta getting high, ya know? Anyway, I was thinking more in the lines of subsiding the pain and shit. It sucks seeing you in so much pain, Edd.” She said sincerely.

“I told you I can deal with it by myself. And I think going to the gym will help.”

…

Going to the gym didn't help. Working out only increased the pain Edd was having since he stopped taking the pain killers he was prescribed.

As the weeks went by things didn't change much. Soon enough Lee did came out with her pregnancy to her family, subsequently having the worst fight with her mom and moving out to live with her dad. Lee did leave mostly all of her stuff at Ann’s house, making Marie’s plan of taking her weed inventory all too easy.

It was mid spring when Edd and Marie lied on her bed together and smoked weed for probably the eight time in the last few days.

“And to think you were still in pain a few months ago. I told you I know best, you should listen to me more often, babe.” Marie said as she bumped her elbow to Edd's ribs.

“It's really hard to filter the one smart sentence you make every hundred incredibly irrational ones. And ‘babe’? It's probably the tenth time this week you've mistaken my name for that idiot’s. If I didn't know better, I'd think you like him more than you do me.”

“Oh, shit. Sorry.” She said, getting a slight blush. “I don't really like him, though. You know that.”

“You keep saying that you're dating him to keep up with Nazz and her new one, but when you tell me how much fun you guys having, I doubt it.” He looked at her.

“Um…I don't know…” She didn't meet his gaze.

“You're allowed to like girls _and_ boys, you know. You're not stupid.”

“I know, I know. It's just weird. I'm sixteen and I was so sure I only like girls and it took me everything to tell mom and my sisters and… And I had this mind set… I don't know, I feel so weird, like I don't know myself at all. I feel like my mind is all over the place and I can't control shit. ‘Cause apparently I like guys. What's next? I turn out to be this girly ass-wipe of a person and swoon after everyone?”

In the few weeks Edd started joining Marie's smoking/gaming sessions, he found out she gets pretty opened up and talkative. So as the smoking helped him with the increasing pain, it helped Marie to open up to him and talk about things she soberly cannot handle discussing.

“Do I look to you like an ass-wipe swoon-ish person?” He asked hesitantly.

Marie snapped her eyes open, realizing she closed them half way through her sentence, “You're _bi_?! Wait, wait, you're into _people_?!” She asked wide eyed and set up on the bed, looking down at a slightly nodding Edd, she said “Like, before, when you were all tiny and quiet…well you still _are_ quiet af, which is creepy, mind you, but back then I thought you were way too innocent to _like_ like anyone. You looked so small and weak, I kind of assumed you to be gay sometimes, too, which is stereotypical as fuck, I know. But _now,_ that I really know you, I kind of assumed you don't like people at all and all asexual and shit. Which _that_ is a shame, ‘cause... have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? Those abs and that ass, girl, I just-” Marie got into a frenzy of amazement of the new development.

“Dude, Marie, calm your tits down, I still hate everyone but you and have no plans sticking my dick anywhere in the near future.”

“You cannot tell me to calm down when you break these kinds of news to me.” Marie said, annoyed at her clearly amused best friend.

Ignoring what Marie said, Edd smirked and said “‘Those abs and that ass’, huh? I thought you said I didn’t make any progress working out and should continue to try.”

“Ugh…I…” Marie tried to think up something to save herself.

As she turned completely, neck to ears, red, Edd provided “Give up?” With a smirk.

“Yup.” She spat as she fell backwards to lie on the bed next to Edd. She crossed her arms and said, a bit annoyed “Why didn't you tell me sooner?” She said quietly. She could feel two strong arms going beneath her shoulders and embracing her into a warm hug.

“Didn't thought it was that important.” He said uncharacteristically sweetly, “Don't be upset, you know I suck balls at this friendship stuff, too used to being alone and shit.” He said with a low voice.

Too hypnotized by Edd's spice mixed with pool chlorine smell and his steady heartbeat, she stuttered “I-It’s fine, I guess.” Marie’s heart was beating so fast, she was afraid Edd could hear it. “So, you like girls and boys…” She said as she snuggled a bit closer to his chest.

In the past year, Edd stretched from his meager height to a respective 5’9” (1.75 m) that could engulf the petite size of Marie, towering barely at 5’3” (1.60 m). As Edd continued to gain more body mass from his frequent swims at the gym’s pool and working out in general, combined with puberty and the continual height growth, it seemed like every pound the beanie clad boy gained, made Marie look even smaller compared to him.

“I still hate everyone's guts, but yours and Ann's.” He reminded.

As they hugged for a few minutes, Marie closed her eyes and relaxed her arms between her’s and Edd’s chest. She could feel the taut muscle beneath her palms, which made her belly get filled butterflies.

As the past months went on, Marie did realize she is attracted to boys, yet the small fact she never mentioned to Edd was that her subject of affection was never the douche Nazz made her go out with in order to slow down things with her own new boyfriend.

“It's past two a.m., we should go to sleep. You’ve got school tomorrow and I have that job interview in the morning.” Edd said and cut her peaceful train of thought.

“I don't _have_ to go to school…And you _really_ don't have to go to that job interview. I mean, your folks are loaded.” She said and nudged Edd's chest with her head, as she lowered herself to have her head beside his heart. She could feel his arms tightening around her in response, she let out a happy sigh.

Edd could feel Marie smiling against his chest, which made him grin in return. He liked making his best friend less of a depressed mess, even though he hated hugs and basically any type of physical interaction with a passion, he would man up to it and hug her for as long as she would let him.

“I told you I hate the idea of getting your beautiful art tattooed on me with their ugly money. I think this stuff is fucking up your memory more than it should.” He said to her.

 _You’re fucking me up more that you should,_ she thought, _and not in the good way_. “Can you drive me to school tomorrow, then?” She asked hopefully.

“To the parallel street’s corner, yes.” He said.

Since Edd got his driving license, Marie will sometimes ask him to drive her to school or to the mall to meet up with Nazz. Edd drove her quite a bit around town for the last few months, yet he was reluctant to see any of their class mates or even drive near the school. Even though Edd gained quite a bit of body mass and went to a few self-defense classes in the gym, to say he wasn't afraid will be a lie.

Whenever he will drive past the school, or think he saw someone he knows from school, his heart will start beating fast and all sense of control Edd thought he had, will start to feel like it's slipping through his fingers again.

It got better as the months went by, and yet a sense of disgust will stemmer from his presence near the school. All in all, he believed he was doing pretty well at the whole PTSD department.

“Nazz really wants to see you, D. She wants to make sure you’re all right, she doesn’t believe a word that comes out of my mouth about you.” Marie said.

Making a bit of space between them, Marie looked up to Edd when he started talking, “She should mind her own fucking business. I do not need her pity or whatever the fuck. She _and_ her idiot of a friend can both go fuck themselves on a lamp post. Like I don't see them ogling my car through the shaded windows whenever I get out of the house.” He pursed his lips and shook his head slightly.

“Don't be a dick, Edd. They're just curious, I guess.” She shrugged. “She told me Kevin still thinks it was his fault.”

“Couldn't care less what that retard thinks, and the freak show exhibit was over the minute I stepped out of that hell hole.” He spat the words as if they were venom in his mouth.

“Sorry…” She murmured into his chest as she lowered her head to avoid Edd's death stare. “He's not that stupid ya know, he's almost in all my advanced classes this semester. Wears glasses and everything now, A level _dork_.” She tried to joke.

“Whatever…” He softened his tone, “You should _really_ get some sleep, Kitty.” He added.

A few months back, he realized Marie will act very much like a cat the moment he’ll hug, touch or pet her, the nickname neutrally slipped out of his mouth one night, and ever since it stuck.

Hearing the pet name, Marie's breath hitched. Her chest filled with affection for the unaware teen. “You should really loose the beanie if you plan on spending the night here.” She joked.

“Nah, I think I'll go sleep in my beanie alone.” He joked back. “Kidding aside, you're like a furnace. And with that, I cannot handle.” He said as he stood up from the bed and move towards the door.

Marie immediately felt the loss of warmth around her and got under the covers.

Looking back, Edd said, “Good night.” And closed the door behind him.

Closing her eyes, Marie let out a sight and thought, _dress me up in a red napkin and call me Pamela ‘cause I'm fucking screwed. BAD._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I am so fucking sorry for not updating my beloved fic for a month. I’m a bad writer lady  .  
> In a few days I'll update again with a new chapter, I promise.  
> Mid-terms were a bitch this year.


	11. Some Things Never Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains some graphic content.

** A/N: ** **This chapter contains some graphic content.**

 

****

_Enjoy_.

 

 

As they kissed the frame got blurry and the song’s volume got louder…

“Now I'm walking on sunshine, whoa

I'm walking on sunshine, whoa

I'm walking on sunshine, whoa

And don't it feel good

Hey, alright now

And don't…”

“Wow this chick flick sucked. So predictable and fluffy, bah. Pretty sure this sonovabitch gave me cavities.” Nat said. He was lying on his stomach, upside down on Kevin's bed, near the normally lying Kevin. “Hey Kev,” he said as turned over on his back, prepping his head on his arm, he nudged Kevin with his knee.

“Ugh?” Kevin turned his gaze from the ceiling to his friend.

“Movie’s over. It sucked, beeteedubs. Whatcha thinkin’ ‘bout?” Nat questioned.

“Umm, nothing, really.” Kevin retorted.

“Aha. So, when did you zone out this time?” He asked, feeling pretty defeated. Kevin was so out of it lately, it was getting hard to keep up a conversation.

“I didn't zone out.” He said defensively.

“Yeah? You didn't even put on your glasses, and if you weren't bit by a radioactive spider in the past hour, I'm pretty sure you're as blind as a bat still and cannot read the subtitles from this far.” Nat said knowingly.

“I hate those glasses. Have I mentioned that? You keep calling me out on shit that is really none your business.” Kevin said, annoyed.

“But I wanna help,” Nat stressed, “I'm your best friend, you should let me help you.” He said fluttering his eyes to the redhead.

Kevin ‘tsk’ed and said “Don't do that… And Nazz is my best friend.”

“Well, I don't see her here with your moping ass. I'm proclaiming the title.” Nat stated proudly, sitting up and puffing up his chest.

“You're my annoying friend.” He deadpanned as Nat moved to grab Kevin's glasses from the bedside table. “Hey, give me those, you ass!” Kevin said as Nat put on his glasses and started posing in them.

“I am an ass, the greatest of ‘me all! Yo soy el rey de colillas!” He shouted.

“You're not funny.” Kevin said with a pout and crossed his arms. “Are you done?” Ha asked, trying not to get stupidly angry, like he used to. Being a friend with the teal headed teen had really tested his limits.

After another minute of jerking around, Nat removed the glasses and placed them on Kevin. “Here you go, looking way cuter than me with those, Sweetums” Nat said as he pushed them up Kevin’s nose. Kevin scrunched his nose and glared at the greenette.

Before Nat backed away from his face, he placed a quick kiss on Kevin's pouting mouth.

“Um… What was that for?” Kevin asked, surprisingly not in an angry tone like Nat expected.

“I felt like it?” Nat said, as if talking to a slow child.

Snapping out of his initial shock, he remembered this is Nat he's talking with, and said “Whatever, dude. I've got too much on my mind as it is, don't mess with me.”

“But you were way too cute for your own good, I COULDN’T HANDLE IT!” Nat said dramatically, making Kevin chuckle and smile. “So you do remember how to smile! Someone call the queen.”

“ _You_ are the only queen in the room.” Kevin deadpanned. Making both of them fold in laughter.

When they calmed down and Nat sat by Kevin's side, he asked “So, what's up?”

Kevin let out a sigh and said quietly “Mom is still out of town. I think they're finally getting divorced.”

“Oh.” Nat voiced, moving his hand to be on top of Kevin's. He could feel Kevin tense for a second. As he started stroking the top of Kevin's hand with his thumb, he could feel the tension dwindling. “How long has it been this time?” He asked.

“Over a month. And I know it's not that big of a deal, lots of parents getting divorced and I'm-“

He was interrupted by Nat, saying “Hey, hey, Kev, it's okay. It's okay to feel sad ‘cause you know what? I'm sure it sucks balls. And it is a big deal, your so called ‘normality’ is changing.” He said reassuringly.

“Yeah… I just wish it didn't.” Kevin said.

“I know, babe. But it is. And it's not a bad thing, either. Just means your folks don't have to stand each other anymore, they won't fight and treat you like shit or ignore your presence. Getting divorced means they just don't like each other as a couple anymore, it has nothing to do with their love towards you, and… And double holidays and gifts and shit, that's fun, right?” Nat asked with a hopeful smile.

“I guess…” Kevin said.

As they passed the next few minutes quietly, both staring at the muted television, Nat turned to look at Kevin, only to find his head buried in his folded knees, little whimpering sounds leaving Kevin's muffled mouth.

“Hey, babe, what's wrong?” Nat asked, receiving only a shrug in return, he said “Hey, Kev, look at me.” Kevin lifted his head, tear streaked cheeks and foggy glasses welcomed Nat's gaze. “What are you thinking about?” He asked.

Taking off his glasses and wiping his face with his shirt collar, Kevin said “I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm fine.” Trying to calm down.

“It's completely alright to cry,” Nat reassured, “I sometimes want to cry from how cute you look.” he joked. “What's going on in there?” He asked, tapping his pointer finger on Kevin's temple.

“I err…you said how fine life will be, and I'm just,” Kevin hiccupped, “Just tried to imagine it and first it sucked and then it didn't and now I feel bad cause it sounds not so bad, but then… Then I thought about who I'll end up with… Like I'm some kind of piece of trash no one wants…” He bit down a sob, “When they fight, they think I can't hear, but they fight over who gets to stay here and babysit me, and no one wants… There was this week a few months back, when both of them left the house. It took them four days to realize I was alone. And I'm not a baby, I can handle, but, but how could they?” Kevin said as tears continued to streak his rosy cheeks. He returned to his former position, wrapping his arms around himself and crying quietly onto his knees, whispering “I'm sorry I'm freaking out on you, I'm really sorry Nat.”

Wrapping his arms around the slightly bulkier Kevin, Nat pushed him to rest to the side on himself. “You should have told me, or Nazz, probably, whatever. We love you, we’re here to help. And let me tell you one thing, babe, you're one fucking awesome person, and your parents obviously cannot see that, so fuck them, who needs them, right?” Nat got only a few whimpers in return. “Want me to call Nazz to come?” He asked.

Kevin lifted his head sharply, almost bumping Nat’s chin with his head, he said with a raspy voice “No, please don't tell her.”

“Whatever you want, babe.” Nat said with a smirk. “I won't tell if you won't.” He said, earning a small smile in return and a chuckle.

“Dumbass.” Kevin said and wiped his face again. “And stop calling me ‘babe’ already, it's weird.”

“Nazz would greatly disagree, she likes being called babe.” Nat said.

“You never call her that, though. Only Blondie from what I've heard...” Kevin said, puzzled.

“Well, we can't have two babes in one gang, and obviously you're my main baby boy, so you get to be the all mighty ‘babe’!” He exclaimed.

“Oh my god, my best friend is a complete, irrational, blue headed, ironically teal headed, idiot.” This made Nat have the biggest shit eating grin Kevin has ever saw. “What?” Ha asked.

“You called _me_ your best friend. My heart cannot handle it, somebody hold me.” Nat said dramatically and acted as if he fainted.

“A complete idiot.” Kevin chuckled. “Who clearly forgot he has a date with one Blondie and her moody friend.”

Snapping his eyes wide open, he remembered he did make plans with Nazz and Marie. “Oh, fuck me sideways with a glow stick.”

“That's a new one.” Kevin said, pretty impressed with his _best_ friends ridiculousness. “Want me to drive you to the mall?” He asked.

“Sure you're up for it? I can manage.”

“Yeah, no problemo. Just... let me change my tear soaked shirt.” He said shyly, rubbing the back of his neck as he said so.

“Best. Babe. _Ever._ ” Nat exclaimed.

As Kevin changed his wet shirt to a dry one, Nat couldn't help himself but to stare at Kevin's beautifully sculpted body. Kevin was lean but had some substantial muscle mass on him, accentuated by his tanned skin. Nat always wondered about the tan, he used to think redheads to be mostly pasty, and not so evenly tanned.

He himself was pretty pale and didn't have as much muscle as Kevin did. The redhead always seemed so manly to the greenette, so seeing him cry was a significant shock to him.

Nat used to believe people merely tolerated him and his unusually vulgar personality, but seeing Kevin letting himself go like that in front of him, made him realize that Kevin really trusts him, that he really is someone's best friend. No one really liked him enough to be his best friend, he thought.

Since childhood, Nat moved with his actress mom around the world constantly, preventing him from making any real friends. Being homeschooled most of the time, Nat wasn't an idiot, but he did lack a sort of social understanding other kids his age had. Or maybe he acted like a jackass on purpose, he himself couldn't tell anymore.

Most of his interactions with teens his age were with the other celebrity's children, which was not that bad, but a common trait to most of them was that they were self-righteous assholes. So most of the time, he treated them exactly like that, going out on extravagant dates in order to get in their pants was the sum of his ‘friendships’ so far. So when he moved again, it didn't suck as much.

Moving to the warm hearted Peach Creak was truly a blessing in his opinion. Being really friends with Nazz, Kevin and Marie was amazing.

…

“I've got an announcement to make.” Nat stated as he sat down beside Marie by a McDonald's table.

“Hey Nat, what's up?” Nazz said, smiling.

Marie just kept quiet.

“You've officially been reduced to a permanent ‘Blondie’.”

With a shocked look, she said “Oh no you didn't. How am I not a babe of honor anymore?”

“It's just… You've been slacking, my dear, and thus, I must… Please, don’t make it hard on me, it's so very hard, as it is.” He said innocently.

“Oh no, it mustn't. I shall help you with the hardness, yes?” She asked with a questionable accent.

“Oh no, my dear. You wouldn't be able to handle it. Your hands are too delicate for such work.” He said.

“Oh. My. God. I'm surrounded by idiots.” Marie said.

“Bitch please. You adore. Everyone does, I'm amazing.”

“Really, dude?...” She lifted an eyebrow and said “Someone smoked too much dope.” She shook her head.

“Well, _someone_ clearly didn't smoke enough. And my money is on you.” He pointed his finger towards her nose.

“How dare you accuse me of such horrendous acts?” She questioned.

 “Well you do have that moody, angsty, emo vibe.” Nazz tried to help.

“No one asked you, plain Blondie.” Marie spat.

“Excuse you!” Nazz looked shocked. “Nat, help me out here.”

“You're on your own, Blondie. I, myself, think Marie is just a ray of sunshine.” He said, which earned him a glare from the bluenette.

After a few moments of silence, the three cracked in a loud group laughter.

“I like you, Goldberg.” Marie said as she wiped a tear from the corner of her eye.

“Enough to let me into your pants?” He said as he wiggled his eyebrows seductively.

“Sshh..” Nazz said, “Don't let her boyfriend hear you.” She said, moving her eyes around, searching.

“Like I care.” Marie said, rolling her eyes at Nazz’s act.

“You really can't make it more obvious you do not like him. Remind me why are you dating him, once again?” Nat asked.

“Cause Blondie here is freaked out by her handsy guyfriend, and I'm apparently her bodyguard. Literally.” Marie said.

“Oh, yeah, yeah.” Nat remembered. “You two should totally drop the douche brothers and date each other, though. Makes a lot more sense to me.”

Nazz looked up to Marie with a shy smile, waiting to hear what she has to say.

After a few moments of silence and a few times Marie opened and closed her mouth, she said “I'm hungry, why are we not ordering food?”

And at that, Nat folded down in a hysterical laugh. “Nazz, you should totally glaze yourself in peanut butter and chocolate, to try to win her heart.”

“Yeah…” Nazz said awkwardly, shifting her gaze down and away.

“Well, that'd be just too messy.” Marie said. “Imagine getting that stuff from your pretty hair?”

“I volunteer myself to help you shower afterwards!” Nat said with a raised arm. “You can help, too.” He said to Marie.

“Isn't there a saying, something about annoying people and being a crowd?” Marie teased.

“Whoa, I knew it. You want her all to yourself.”

“People, people, no one is washing me!” Nazz said.

“Party pooper.” “Party pooper.” Both Marie and Nat said, causing them to crack up again in a fit of giggles.

“I give up.” Nazz whispered.

 They spent the following hours eating and wandering around the different stores in the mall. Marie ended up buying some drawing and painting supply, Nazz bought some clothes and a lipstick, and Nat spent his money on two toy swords and a violet lipstick, claiming he needs both for scientific research.

…

As the night started to creep up, they decided to split. Marie ended up walking home. It was closer, she tried to rationalize. It was a warm April night, so she couldn't wait to get home to take a quick cool shower to cool herself down.

As she walked home, she thought about her new friendships. Spending time with the pair always seemed to her as what's considered a fun activity. But, most times, it seemed, she couldn't just be happy with the interesting interactions the two provided.

Her mind wouldn't let her.

At some point in the night, her mind will stir her recognition to the darkest of thoughts. She would find herself thinking about all of the times she wanted to say something, or actually did, and it went unnoticed. How she _always_ needed to address the person before talking to them and to get their attention, because she knew that if she won't, they wouldn't care enough to pay any attention. And every little dismissal hurt, and every little unintentional joke on her account stung.

She would put a metaphorical armor around herself, acting as if she has so much confidence and courage, but in fact, all she had was a little soft blanket around her.

It was delicate and will rip every time someone poked it the wrong way. She will try to hide behind it, but as with most things we keep since our childhood, it got smaller over the years; less efficient. She will try to pull it over her head, but her feet will get cold, and she will risk getting hurt in a handful lot of new ways.

 So over the years, the blanket got old and dirty, soiled with past breakdowns from within, and her feet got used to the cold. Every time she will feel hurt is coming her way, feet first, she'll start to shut down, being numb to the world was better than feeling hurt, her mind deemed.

She would want to scream and cry, but she never did. She'd put up her mask and act as if everything was completely fine, because she knows it's not their fault they can't deal with her, she should be glad they can manage to stand her around them. So she gets numb to the possible pain.

And it's not mental numbness, it's the actual physical epitome of it. She will walk through the streets, sometimes bumping into someone, feeling completely numb to the touch. It felt as if she was floating on air. A white sound would consume her senses and she won't be able to hear anything but her heartbeat. It was relaxing in a sense.

At first, it felt blissful. Automatically shutting down the world, feeling peaceful.

But then the thoughts will start to creep up again, and she would realize, she apparently got home already, and she's filling the bathtub’s water scolding hot. And she can't really feel the water as she sinks to the heat. It's a weird feeling, she thinks.

She can see the steam coming off of the water, her skin getting darker and redder, and the scars being some kind of a purple shade. Her bright blue hair is floating in the water and she can’t help but to imagine herself as a mermaid, sinking her head underwater.

She holds her breath for a few seconds, releasing air in small bursts until there is nothing left in her lungs. She pulls her head out of the water to take a fresh breath of air, but it feels so, so hollow.

Panic starts to engulf her again, her heartbeat is racing and she feels like she should cry, but nothing ever comes out. Her eye makeup runs down her cheeks and blurs her vision black, and Marie lets it sting her eyes red, because she is so tired. She needs her control back, she needs to feel something.

So, she stretches her hand beyond the shower curtain, and gets a new sharp blade from the drawer.

First, she will drag the blade across her outer palm, making a dozen little cuts. These cuts were the easiest to heal and the lightest in her opinion, leaving no scars whatsoever.

She can smell the iron smell of blood and feel the sting of the new incisions, she can also feel the blood dripping down her hand into the water. Her heart is beating faster, but it's not enough yet.

She waits a few minutes as she strokes her thigh with the tip of her finger, mapping where the next cut will be. She takes a deep breath, closes her eyes, and slashes across her thigh with a quick motion. The pain doesn't hit right away, so she waits a few seconds to feel the maximum affect.

Blood starts to trickle into the shallow water, painting them red for two seconds, before the blood mixes with them. Marie strokes the new cut with her wet hand and clears up the colored liquid. She can see and feel that the cut isn't deep at all. The cool air around her wet body makes her shiver.

She takes a last look at her scar ridden thighs and quickly slashes her thigh half a dozen more times in a row, one cut after the other, getting harder and deeper it the progresses. It’s not the inflicting of pain she likes, it’s the end result. The pain mixed with euphoria is what keeps her from ending thing, because sometimes the numbness is too much.

Now, she can feel the pain truly. The numbness tries to engulf her, but the pain grounds her to the present. Marie drops her head backwards to rest against the cold wall and relaxes.

 

She's done for tonight.


	12. Just Another Month Till’ Summer Break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the late update, I have no excuses, I suck.  
> I will update in a week or so again, I promise.

_ Enjoy. _

 

Waking up to Del Shannon’s Runaway meant only one thing. _Mom’s cleaning,_ Marie thought as she stared at the ceiling.

“Mom!” She shouted.

“Ya?” Ann asked, as she popped her head in Marie's, now own, bedroom.

“It's seven a.m. mom.” Marie said as she gestured towards the bedside analog clock.

“I'm aware.” She said slyly.

“I was sleeping here!” Marie huffed.

“Well, don't you think it's time to wake up? May’s been up for an hour.” Ann said.

“Yeah, I'm the good one!” May shouted.

“How long was I asleep?” Marie deadpanned.

“Obviously for too long” Ann whispered with a grin and left the room.

Stretching in her bed, Marie grabbed her iPhone, checking for new messages. Upon unlocking the screen, she saw Edd sent her a message at two a.m., reading:

DD: [Pool/Beach tomorrow? (Technically today)]

She quickly replied and got out of bed to get ready for school.

Marie: [Negative.]

As Marie washed up and got dressed she kept repeating a mantra in her head, _Just another month till’ summer break._

…

Upon arriving to school, Marie was greeted with a smiling Nazz at the school entrance.

“Nazz.” She greeted.

“Good morning.” Nazz said cheerfully and started walking beside her. After a few seconds of quietly walking towards their classrooms, Nazz blurted out “Was something wrong yesterday?”

“What?” Marie said, a tinge of panic starting to pool in her belly.

“It just… You seemed a bit distant and pretty uncomfortable. I just wanted to ask if I did anything wrong.” The blonde said awkwardly.

Yesterday was Marie's first time in Nazz's house. Being friends with the blonde for the past six months or so, she assumed it will come to that, but when she actually invited her to hang out with her, Marie was speechless. It all seemed like a great time spent with the cheerleader, but she never really thought they will turn out that good of a friends.

As soon as she walked through Nazz's front door, she realized just how different they both are from each other. Where Marie had random crap scattered in her living room and bedroom, Nazz had sports and cheerleading trophies, photos of a large family and a lot of friends. Nazz's room was filled with so much girly hair and makeup stuff, which Marie's wasn't particularly shocked by, but remembering how Nazz was when they were kids, a boyish type of a girl, she was impressed. All in all, Nazz truly was the epitome of the girl next door, all perfect American blonde girl.

All of this, only made Marie realize how infelicitous she was in comparison.

“Of course not, you're were practically perfect.” Marie said with a less than truthful smile.

“I'm not perfect…” Nazz retorted. “Um… I'll see you at lunch?” She asked as they neared her classroom.

“Sure thing.” Marie said, making Nazz smile.

“Okay, bye for now!” Nazz said cheerfully as she backed away inside her classroom.

…

Couple of hours later, Marie was walking towards the lunchroom, whilst texting with Edd.

Marie: [I thought you were free from work today.]

DD: [Im covering a coworker’s evening shift.]

Marie: [So it's gym, house, and work?]

DD: [Negative. I'll go straight to work after a workout and a swim, I just woke up. Still in bed actually.]

“Hello beautiful.” Marie heard as she felt two arms snaking from behind her, hugging her.

 “Nat.” She acknowledged.

“Whatcha doin’ standing in the middle of the hall?” Nat asked, putting his head on Marie's shoulder.

“Being creeped out by you. Can you not?” She asked as she motioned with her hands to his arms.

“How can you?” He said with mock offense as he backed, earning a questioning look from Marie. “Decline my lovin’, duh.”

“I did no such thing.” She said, not impressed.

“Cmon, me need food.” Nat said as he grabbed her hand and pulled her inside the room.

“Hey guys!” Nazz shouted from where she was sitting with Kevin.

Marie felt her phone buzz in her hand, assuming it's another text from Edd, she put her phone in her jeans pocket and decided to sit down and reply then.

As she and Nat walked towards the sitting Nazz and Kevin, Marie couldn't help but to feel a bit shaken by Kevin's presence. In the last few months she spent quite a bit time with the red headed jock, though they never really talked between them, neither of them wanted to befriend the other nor to initiate a conversation. Being the popular jock, Marie always felt intimidated by him. He represented to her the evil popular jocks of Peach Creak High.

“Hey babe, how I missed you so…” Nat said.

“You literally just saw me in class.” Kevin said.

“Your point?” Nat said.

“Just sit.”  Kevin said, kicking the bench Nat is to sit upon.

“Ooh, ooh, I like when you’re aggressive!” Nat said giddily.

“Dude!” The now red faced jock shouted quietly. Nazz giggled at that as Nat and Marie sat down and Nat winked at him. “You're going to _love_ it then when I kick your ass, then.” Kevin said through gritted teeth. Sometimes, Nat was way too much for him to handle.

Leaning forwards, Nat looked sheepishly around and whispered, “I'm going to _adore_ you anywhere near my ass.”

“Nat!” Nazz all but screamed. Kevin's face burnt with blush and shame, as Nat and Marie almost fell laughing at him.

“It's like a fucking superpower, man.” Marie wheezed.

“I know right?” He wiped a tear from corner of his eye, “It's like BAM! And he's as red as a tomato.”

Marie could feel her phone buzzing from under her butt, she pulled it out of her pocked and answered the call. Nat went quiet and the group looked at her.

“D.”

“You didn't answer my text.” Edd said with a husky sleep voice.

“Forgot, sorry.” She apologized.

“Who's that?” Nazz whispered.

“I was thinking maybe you want to go to that new skatepark with me before work.”

 _‘Double D’_ Marie mouthed.

“Double D!” Nazz all but shouted and grabbed the phone out of Marie's hand. “Double D!” She repeated. “It's Nazz, morning!” She said.

“Morning?” He repeated.

“How've you been? We're all missing you here at school, still.” She said.

“Bored.” He said sternly.

“Well duh, you need to comeback already. I don't think I've seen you in a year. Do you still like me? How come only Marie's allowed to hang out with you? We, too, miss all your long words and wisdom of knowledge stuff.” She said, earning a grunt as a respond.

He pulled himself to act civilized and respectful, even though Nazz just gave him a searing headache and said “May I have Marie to the phone, please?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure.” She said, mildly offended by the lack of response to her questions. “Grouchy wants you.” She said as she gave the phone to one annoyed Marie.

“Sorry.” Marie said, “You were saying?”

“Skate park.”

“Uh yeah. Maybe not today, I'm kinda out of it today… Meet you when you come back from work?” She said.

Edd grunted, mumbled something to himself and hung up.

“So…” Nazz said. “That was Double D?”

“Yeah?” Marie asked, not getting where Nazz was going with that.

“He sounded… Different.” She said, taking a few seconds to think of a better explanation, “His voice is way deeper and smoother, he literally doesn't _sound_ like the Double D I used to know.”

“But did you? Did you really used to know him?” Marie asked.

“Not really, I guess. But who did? Besides the Eds, that is.” She shrugged. “Anyway, it also was _how_ he spoke. I don't know, maybe I really did forget how he was. I mean, he was so… You know… Such a small presence.” Nazz tried to rationalize.

“Yeah… I suggest you choose your next words carefully, that is _my grouchy best friend_ you're talking about.” Marie said with a venom to her words.

“Hey, Marie, baby, chill.” Nat tried to calm her, seeing where this is leading to.

“I'm perfectly chilled, _Goldberg._ ” She all but hissed, glaring at the blonde still.

“She didn't mean to.” Kevin interrupted.

“What?” Marie was shocked to hear him address her.

“She didn't mean to offend either of you, she obviously doesn't even get what she said wrong, see?” Kevin motioned towards to clueless Nazz.

“I really do not, if someone will…” Nazz tried to say, but got interrupted by Marie.

Addressing Kevin, Marie said “But you…Do?”

He nodded.

“Interesting.” She said quietly and turned to face Nat, “Food?”

“Food.” He replied, and got up the go with Marie to grab lunch.

After they were at a safe distance from Nazz and Kevin, Nat asked “So… Is he your secret boyfriend or something?”

“No. Why would you say that?” She said quietly, cheeks turning a bit red.

“Do you like him? ‘Cause I was pretty sure you liked Nazz. Not that you're not allowed to like more than a single person.” Nat said.

“What?!” She said dumbfounded.

“I'm not that kind of an idiot, I see stuff.” He said proudly, getting in line for the food.

“Mind your own business.” She said half heartily.

“Sue me for being interested in that mysterious Double Dude. He's like, half your conversation material.” He joked.

“Like your material is better… Ass ass here, and ass ass there… Ass here, ass there, ass ass fucking everywhere.”

“I think that was the greatest song of the entirety of everything!” Nat exclaimed.

“I'm smooth like that.” Marie deadpanned.

“Am I allowed to change my date tonight with you? You're way funnier.” He said as they moved along the line, getting food put on their trays.

“I don't think the rules will allow such acts.” She said. “Have fun with your weekly skank.”

“ _He’s_ not a skank. I don't think.” Nat said.

“I thought you said you were over guys?”  She said as she took her tray of food and started walking beside Nat.

“The heart wants what the heart wants.” He said as they neared the table.

“Ya. The _heart._ ” Marie said.

“Ya, ya.” Nat laughed as he sat down on the bench. “You're my fave, you know.”

“Shh… Don't let the others hear you.” She said as she eyed Kevin and Nazz.

Kevin eyed her right back and said “He basically wrote your ass a love song when he first saw you. We know.”

Nat nodded eagerly “I did!” He said.

With an unimpressed look and a raised brow Marie said “So it's decided. I shall ignore that.”

And that made Kevin fold down in laughter. _Marie really isn't that bad of a person, I get why the dork basically lives with her._ He thought.

“Your loss, Doll.” Nat shrugged.

“Aha… So where did you get your new boy-skank?” Marie asked.

“Boy-skank?” Nazz questioned.

“New date.” Marie clarified.

“Uh.”

“Gay bar.” Nat.

“How did you manage to get into a bar?” Kevin asked, because all of them were obviously sixteen, turning seventeen.

“Oh, I know the answer for that one.” Nazz said, “Mommy’s money, duh.”

“Yep. If one of you ain't into waiting another two years to get into one of those, feel free to accompany me, I got enough to spare.” He said happily, looking at one redhead in particular.

…

As the time neared eight p.m., Nat checked himself in the mirror one last time before he went out of the house to drive to the coffee house. He wore dark denim skinny jeans, a dark grey T shirt and a green button up underneath, cuffed at his elbows with the collar sticking up, and his black and white Adidas high tops. His teal spikes were flicked up just right and he deemed himself hot enough.

He and Jay, the date, decided to come with separate vehicles. This suited Nat just fine, he hated to drive his unsuccessful dates home and suffer through the ride, which was in most cases lately.

As Nat arrived to the coffee shop, five minutes past eight, he spotted Jay standing near the entrance. “Hellooo cutie.” He said to the dark haired guy.

Jay was a skinny tall teen, and the black skinny jeans and pale pink button down he wore only accentuated that.

“Hey Nat.” The young man said. “Shall we?” He asked, gesturing towards the inside.

“We shall.” Nat said with a wink and followed Jay.

Jay was definitely older that Nat, probably eighteen or nineteen, considering he just finished high school. Nat was almost seventeen, so he considered the age deference as insignificant. Being himself, he never shied away from adventure, and a few times went out with guys way over twenty. Girls were harder to go out with, especially when they were older than him, he decided.

As they sat down, a waiter wearing all black greeted them. He wore black army boots, black skinny jeans that hugged his full butt just perfectly, a skinny black T shirt that emphasized the muscle on him and a black beanie. The waiter had piercing baby blue eyes, which were basically an antithesis to his dark halo.

“Can you make your friend stop staring at me like that?” He said to Jay.

“Hey, Nat!” Jay said as he kicked his date beneath the table.

“Ouchy!” Nat said, glaring at his date. “The fuck was that for?” He all but growled sharply. Jay winced at that.

Combining Nat's pissed tone with his jock’s stature, he could look damn scary at times.

“Sorry. You zoned out for a sec there.” He tried to say lightly.

“Guess I did, huh. You were saying, gorgeous?” Nat said as he smiled at the waiter.

Jay started talking but was interrupted, “I said we should get the sweets platter and-“

“Wasn't talking to you.” Nat said as he made a bristling gesture with his hand to shush Jay up, still locking eyes with the waiter and smiling at him.

“That wasn't nice.” The waiter noted. Nat opened his mouth to retort but the waiter shushed him with his hand in the air, gesturing ‘stop’ and said, “I shall come back in a few minutes for your order.” The waiter turned around and walked towards the kitchen.

Nat mouthed ‘Oh my god’ to himself and turned his attention to his pissed date. “That hurt.” Nat said.

Nat ended up agreeing to Jay’s suggestion of the sweets platter. It came shortly with one gorgeous waiter and two cups of steamy coffee. Nat thanked the waiter, apologized for before and asked his name.

“My name is Eddward.” He said with a small curve to his lip, revealing a bit of his pearly teeth.

 “Noted.” Nat said with a wink, that his date very much noticed. But honestly, Nat couldn't care less, he just met a fucking angel.

As the evening continued, Nat made small talk with his date, though his attention was focused on Eddward, which walked between tables and served other people. And more than once, said waiter caught Nat bluntly eyeing him.

It came unsurprisingly, when Jay told Nat that he doesn't think they share any chemistry between them and shouldn't waste each other's time.

At 09:50 p.m. Jay left Nat at the coffee shop to finish his coffee alone. Nat ended up ordering another cup and waiting for the blue eyed teen to finish working, he guessed he could try to start a conversation with him then.

As the time passed, Nat watched the very aware waiter’s movements and sporadically checked his phone for texts. He was eventually startled by the waiter that sat across from him, about a half an hour later.

“Hey.” Edd said quietly, scaring Nat in the process.

“Shit!” Nat squeaked and dropped his phone onto the table.

Eyeing the teal head, Edd asked “What exactly do you think you're doing?”

“Trying to get my heart restarted!” Nat wheezed, clutching his chest. “You almost scared me to death over here.”

“You totally had that one coming.” He said with a straight face, “Ogling my ass for the entirety of your 150 minute stay, which presumably was partially a date, is a definitive no-no in society’s rule book.” He shook his head.

“ _Fuck_ society’s fucking rules. I’mma free agent” Nat said decisively.

“Whatever.” Edd said as he rolled his eyes and moved to get up and leave, his shift was over and talking to the cute teen was obviously a mistake _because he’s obviously fucking crazy,_ Edd thought.

“Hey, no, wait just a second.” Nat said as he got up to follow Edd. “My name’s Nathan Goldberg, Nat, really. I’m sixteen.” He said while inwardly scolding himself for the shitass picking up, he knew he can do better, but this kid just radiated sexiness and he couldn’t handle himself.

“Good for you.” Edd said as he walked out of the shop.

“How old are you?” Nat asked eagerly, bouncing beside Edd.

Eyeing him from the corner of his eye, Edd decided he has nothing to lose by just replying the annoying teen and getting on with his life. “Sixteen.”

“You’re shitting me, right? You look way older. Where do you go to school?” he asked.

“I do not.” Edd replied as he walked down the street towards the parking lot.

“Oh, that’s cool, too.” Nat said, assuming Eddward might be a drop out, but judging by his language and persona so far, he doesn’t look like a drop out. “So…” he trailed, “How about I give you my phone number and we could text and maybe go out on a date?” he said hopefully, thinking to himself how un-smoothly he just phrased that.

“How about I get in my car, if you’ll kindly remove yourself from blocking my way, and drive home?” Edd retorted.

“But what’s the fun in that?” Nat pouted. He completely had no game today, he truly felt like this amazingly looking guy is going to make him beg. “I tell you what, I’m gonna give you my number, and if you’d like, you’ll text me.” He said as he stretched his best smile on his face. When Edd smiled back at him, he almost melted.

However, too quickly in Nat’s opinion, the smile disappeared. “Okay.” He said as he pulled his iPhone from his back pocket and looked at Nat through dark lashes, waiting for him to dictate his digits.

As Nat finished saying the last of numbers for the second time, checking that Edd indeed had his correct number, he leaned closer to his ear, noted how they’re pretty much the same height, and whispered “Don’t think I didn’t catch _you_ checking _me_ out.” Backing off, he said cheerfully “Nighty night, gorgeous.” Turned around, and walked to his own car.

 

 


End file.
